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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29942001">Halstead Sister</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlytherinPrincess926/pseuds/SlytherinPrincess926'>SlytherinPrincess926</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chicago Med, Chicago PD (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>HalsteadSister, Multi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:41:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>25,281</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29942001</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlytherinPrincess926/pseuds/SlytherinPrincess926</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Jay and Will had a little sister. Takes place almost directly after Season 7. There will be Burgstead, but it will mainly focus on the Halstead Siblings for the most part. #HalsteadSiblings #Burgstead</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Connor Rhodes (Chicago Med)/Original Female Character(s), Jay Halstead &amp; Will Halstead, Kim Burgess/Jay Halstead, Kim Burgess/Original Female Character(s), Will Halstead &amp; Jay Halstead &amp; Original Female Character, Will Halstead &amp; Owen Manning, Will Halstead/Natalie Manning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jay’s P.O.V.</p>
<p>        There had been a bomb at the D.A.’s office. Everyone was here, but luckily there were no fatalities, yet. There were four majorly wounded in the hospital, but as far as I know right now they’re still alive. The team and I were just spread out trying to help out. Right now we were surrounding Hank trying to figure out who was staying with Kevin because he was still on probation when it came to field work, even this, and then I see her. What the hell was she doing here. She should be in New York, or maybe even DC. Not Chicago. I rush over to her only getting the attention of the team, and grab her arm while I start to drag her over to where the team was. <br/>           “Jay let me go.” Not gonna happen. We get a couple feet further before she tries again. She’s getting mad, but I could care less. She finally puts her feet down, stopping us both in our tracks in front of the team, and rips her arm out of mine.<br/>           “Jay Matthew Halstead let me go right now.” She then turns to Hank, and steps towards him to give him a hug.<br/>           “Hi Hank. Now if you would excuse me I have to get back to work.” She turns to try and escape my wrath. Not gonna happen. I try to get her, but D.A. Lyon comes up towards her.<br/>          “Not so fast Lex you’re working with them until we know why there was a bomb.” She wasn’t happy about that. I could tell by her face. <br/>          “I go on trial in two weeks. I don’t have time to babysit a couple of cops.” She was working at the D.A.’s office.<br/>          “You know that you’re in a better position then any to make sure that no private information is revealed.” She realized something. I could tell by her face. I would have to ask her later. She turns towards all of us while she takes out her badge.<br/>          “Assistant D.A. Alexa Halstead.” She tried to turn toward where most of the cops were loading the boxes of files.<br/>         “Lex how long?” She signs and turns around. She is preparing to fight, and depending how long she’s been here she might get it.<br/>          “2 months, and you can’t say anything for another 10 months.” She had me there.<br/>          “I’m sorry, but who are you to Jay?” Adam probably just stopped a fight from starting. <br/>          “I’m his little sister, and I already know all of you.” She points at Adam first. I’ve never shown her pictures of the team, but she’s always been good at reading people. Putting the pieces together.<br/>          “You are Adam Ruzek. The main undercover cop. You aren’t comfortable wearing your badge which shows that you don’t normally wear it, and when you do wear it you try to hide it. You’re Kevin Atwater. You were a patrol officer so you’re used to wearing the badge, but you also try to hide it slightly because you have been starting to do more undercover. You are Vanessa Rojas. You were sent undercover basically straight out of the academy, and are trying to get used to the badge. You’re Kim Burgess. You’re like my brother: proud of the badge, and then there is also…” Her phone started ringing. Thank god. She excused herself before finishing while taking the call. Hank ordered everyone to get to work. They all sent me questioning glances, but went on with it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kim’s P.O.V.</p><p>          Jay had a sister. How did none of us had a clue. I mean it was obvious that she knew Hank, but the rest of us had never met her. I’ve never heard Jay even mention that he had another sibling besides Will, but she obviously knew about all of us, even Vanessa. I wonder if she knew Antonio because he knew Jay before he came to Intelligence. She was able to pick us all out by descriptions. She was gonna say more about me. Maybe that’s what led me to wear the dirty blond hair woman with bright blue eyes, freckles, and was about my height. A part of me wanted to know what Jay told her. She was at the side of the building, just sitting on a bench, checking her phone.<br/>          “I thought you said that you had to make sure that the cops didn’t see any confidential info.” She looked up, and smiled slightly. That was when I saw how much her and Jay actually looked alike.<br/>          “That was just to get away from Jay for a bit. There are over 5 lawyers over there with their hawk eyes making sure that their clients personal information isn’t compromised. I think I’m good so you want to know what I was going to say, right.” I just nodded. How did she do that? Did Jay tell her that much about us?<br/>           “I grew up in Chicago, and then for the past 8 years I’ve been interning with lawyers in Dc and New York on breaks. I know how to read people, and I don’t have the best social skills So I just end up learning everything out. Makes me a good lawyer though. I was going to say that well I called them the two “I”s. Jay’s never said it verbally, but I know him better than anyone. You intimidate him and because of that you are so impressive. That’s hard to do.” There was no way that was really true. Jay is the best. He has been through wars, mental and physical. There was no way I intimidated him.<br/>           “There’s no way.” She just smirked at me a little. What did that mean? She looked over my shoulder which led me to look behind me as well. It was Jay. <br/>            “Some of the boxes are being sent over now so Hank wants us to head over... What are you two talking about?” He added that when his eyes went over my probably still shocked face, and Lex’s slightly smirking one. He looked slightly worried.<br/>              “Oh, I was just telling Kim about the time when Will gave you dating advice.” Now it was his turn to be shocked. Lex looked over at me and winked before walking towards the rest of them. I look over at Jay, and he looks pale. I was gonna have to ask her about that story later.</p><p>Back at the office</p><p>                After we got back to the office Hank made us go straight to work. Lex explained what the symbols were for what we could see, and then she started to help out with going through all the cases. She was working at my desk right now which is why I saw Kevin come over to her. <br/>                “Hey...umm...I was just wondering if you knew anything about the Doyle-Atwater case.” She looked up at him, and gave him a slight smile. I really hoped she had something. Kev has been really worrying about it, especially now that he is back except he is on probation.<br/>                 “Look this case isn’t a run of the mill because it deals with racism. You have to make sure that the judge and jury don’t have any history of racism, whether it be from them or a family member, which will take a little while because they have to give their consent. Then, there’s also the attorney situation. This isn’t a case that you are assigned. It’s one that you volunteer for because of it being so controversial.” Lex started walking to the stairs. Kevin looked down slightly, but Jay perked up. Like he got a break in the case.<br/>                  “You volunteered didn’t you?” He must’ve picked up on something before. If she volunteered for the case then that would mean that she is staying here for a while. It might do Jay some good. Having her here instead of on the east coast. After, he said that she sighed, and turned around. Stopping at the top of the stairs<br/>                   “I hate that you’re the only person who can read me.” They both smirk at each other. By now everyone except for Voight who was in his office.<br/>                   “What about Will?” Jay looked down slightly, and Lex had a look of either sadness or anger. I couldn’t tell. Why did Adam have to blurt things out all the time?<br/>                    “I haven’t talked to Will about more than ‘Happy Birthday’ and ‘Merry Christmas’ for more than 10 years.” With that she just turned, and went down the stairs. Everyone had sort of just looked down. Jay just watched her go down, and then went back to work. Was it really that normal for her not to be close to Will. I was already gonna talk to him about this case that I was reading for a second opinion so I just plan to add to ask if he was ok. It must be hard to be in the middle of your siblings.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>    It has been two weeks since Jay found out that I was back in Chicago, and Will still has no idea. Well as far as I know. I wouldn’t have it any other way. They were able to close up the case in 3 days, and right after Lyon officially gave me Kevin’s case. That meant that I was spending a lot more time with Jay and his team. They weren’t that bad. Adam was starting to be a brother to me. Which wasn’t surprising considering how much he’s like Jay. Kevin is still getting used to our new relationship as client and attorney. Vanessa was really cool. She and I were getting close, but not as close as me and Kim. Kim and I had a lot in common. Our love for coffee was one, and we actually met up for coffee multiple times in the past two weeks. She was the first real friend that I made in Chicago since I’ve been back, and then there’s the added perk of Jay. Lets just say Jay hated it. He hated that he had no control over what I could tell her. I could even tell her about his story of when he was on his flight home from his first tour, but I would only do that if I absolutely needed to. It was nice to be around him again, and not just talking over the phone almost everyday. I was actually on my way to Molly’s to meet up with them. <br/>    When I got there Jay and the rest of them were already there. A lot of other people were also there who I didn’t recognize so I went right over to Jay. He had a beer in his hand along with everyone else. They all turned toward me after Jay did.<br/>“Hey kid I’ll go get you a drink. What do you want?” Adam has also taken up calling me kid. I’m not sure yet if I want to smack him for it or just let it be.<br/>“Water’s fine please. I don’t drink.” He gave me a weird look, and I just smiled. I was used to getting weird looks for not drinking. Jay called over some other people to our group.  Two men, one with dark hair and one with lighter hair, and a blonde woman. <br/>“Hey Lex this is Kelly Severide, Matthew Casey, and Sylvie Brett. This is Lex my little sister.” They seemed a little surprised when he said sister, but didn’t say anything and gave their own introductions. They were apart of the Chicago Firehouse 51. <br/>The evening was actually kinda fun. After, Adam brought my water I started to get to know everyone. The Fire people were really cool, and everything was going awesome until I saw him. I turn to Jay and see that he had saw him too.<br/>“You didn’t tell me that he would be here.” I had whispered it to him so no one else would hear, but Adam had already started to call him and the man that he had came here with over.<br/>“Hey Will, Connor come over here.” I had to get out of there. I wasn’t ready to deal with him yet, but Jay pulled on my hand. Basically making me stay, and I wasn’t in the right mindset to resist. Then, he saw me. At first I think he didn’t recognize me, but then he looked in my eyes. My eyes were the only thing that I couldn’t really change in 10 plus years. He comes over basically forgetting his drink and stands in front of me.<br/>“Why didn’t you tell me you were here?” Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jay look down. I know Will means good, but he has no idea what we’ve gone through.<br/>“You mean communicate with you because the last time I remember having an actual conversation I was ten. You stopped talking to me. Why should I keep trying when you know nothing about me.” You could see the guilt forming in his eyes. He deserved it.<br/>“Lex I do know things about you like…” <br/>“Like what? What’s my favorite color? What’s my favorite book? What’s my dance solo I’ve ever done? What was my favorite class in school? Why did Jay take guardianship over me when I was 14? What were the other careers I was looking into? What colleges were I accepted into? Why did I choose the one that I went to? Can you answer any of those?” Will just looked down and I sighed and turned to Jay.<br/>“Jay.” He didn’t want to do it, but he was gonna.<br/>“Her favorite color is navy blue, and favorite book is Impostors by Scott Westerfeld. Favorite dance solo was Soldier and her favorite class was English. I took guardianship over her because dad wasn’t in his right mind.” Understatement of the year. “She was looking into either a cop or a doctor. She was accepted into Yale and Princeton, but chose Princeton.” Will was speechless. As was everyone else. I just got my stuff and walked out of there.</p><p>Jay’s P.O.V.</p><p>As I’m watching Lex leave Will looks up at me. <br/>“Jay you didn’t answer the last one.” That was because I didn’t want to. I know Lex isn’t doing this to make him feel guilty. She understood him not being there a long time ago. I had to figure out what she was trying to do.<br/>“Lex chose Princeton because it was closer to New York. Closer to you.” I walk out of the bar as well. Not realizing that someone is following me.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jay’s P.O.V.</p><p>    I had made it all the way up to my apartment without realizing that I had someone following me. I hated being in the middle of them. My mind was so busy focusing on them that I didn’t even notice someone knocking on my door until they yelled my name. When I looked through the peephole I saw that it was Kim. I give myself a couple of seconds to calm down before I open the door.<br/>“Hey Kim what can I do for you?” She gave me a look that was in between concerned and confused.<br/>“Are you ok? Back there was something, and no one likes being in between anyone, especially siblings.” I step back to let her in, and we both go to sit on the couch.<br/>“I’m used to it. I just don’t get why Lex sent all that guilt towards Will. I mean he deserves it for sure, but I thought that she’s gotten past it.” She looked sort of confused. I mean It’s explainable considering she knows nothing about Lex’s past.<br/>“What do you mean he deserves it?” Did I really want to tell this. It wasn’t really my story to tell, but Kim might be able to find out what Lex is trying to do.<br/>“Our mom was diagnosed with cancer when Lex was 3, Will was 10, and I was 11. It wasn’t that bad until my senior year. By then Will had already decided that he was going to be a doctor. He spent almost everyday doing something to make sure that he would be able to get into med school. That was when he really started to distance himself from mom, and by default Lex. When Will went into his second year of med school he basically caught off every form of communication with them. I know that Lex tried to protect mom from it by lying to her. After I took guardianship over Lex I made her go to a therapist, and I thought that she understood why Will did what he did. That’s why I wasn’t expecting her to do that.” I put my head in my hands, and Kim, surprisingly, put her arms around me in a hug. <br/>“Maybe it wasn’t about making Will feel guilty. Is there a reason why she would be pushing him away?” Kim had a point.<br/>“The reason why I had guardianship over her. Will still has no idea because when it happened he was in New York.” Kim understood that what happened wasn’t my story to tell. They seemed to be getting close so hopefully Lex might tell her.<br/>“Come on let’s put a movie on to get your mind off of it. You might be their older brother, but you shouldn’t worry about them 24/7.”</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>    It was the day after my little outburst at Molly’s, and I was not looking forward to having to go to the precinct today. I had to go talk to Kevin about the case, and his terms of probation while the case is still going on. That meant seeing Jay. I didn’t want to put him in the middle last night. I just need to keep Will away from me.<br/>    When I got into the precinct I gave Trudy a wave before making my way up to Intelligence. I really hoped that Jay wasn’t there. Unfortunately, he was. I didn’t even make eye contact with him before I went to talk to Kevin. He wasn’t allowed to leave the building for a case. I could tell that he wasn’t liking it, but it was the only way I could get him to be able to work cases. I felt bad, but it was the only thing I could do. I was about to leave Intelligence when a hand grabbed my arm. I knew before I even turned around that it was Jay.<br/>    “Hey can I talk to you?” I love my brother, but he tries to be the mediator far too often then he should.<br/>    “I really need to get back to the office.” I already knew that he wasn’t gonna take no for an answer. He was a Halstead afterall. <br/>    “It’ll be quick.” By now everyone was watching us, even Hank who came out of his office as soon as Jay grabbed my hand.<br/>    “Fine, what do you want?”<br/>    “What was that last night?” I really did not want to talk about this.<br/>    “Jay just leave it ok.”<br/>    “I thought you accepted what happened with Will.” <br/>    “This isn’t about that.” He’s gonna start pushing.<br/>    “Then what is it? Come on Lex you don’t keep things from me.” He wasn’t gonna give up.<br/>    “He shouldn’t have to deal with it.” I hate that I have to protect him from it.<br/>    “Deal with what?” He really wasn’t getting it.<br/>    “Will shouldn’t have to look at himself in the mirror and question if he’s becoming like him. Like how you still do it every single day. I’m broken Jay because of what happened. If Will keeps seeing me he’s gonna put the pieces together. I don’t blame him for what happened, I never have. I’m protecting him. Just because you two are older doesn’t mean that I can’t protect you.” I didn’t let him get a word from him because right after I finished I left.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jay’s P.O.V.</p><p>She just left. Everyone’s eyes was on me, and to make matters worse my phone started going off. It was Will. I go to the break room with Kim giving me a concerned look. Once I get through the door I accept the call.<br/>“Hey Will what’s up?” I already had a hunch on why he was calling me.<br/>“Look I can’t help, but think about last night. I know I messed up a lot when it came to Lex. How do I make it better?” <br/>“She's not the 10 year old girl anymore. Lex isn’t predictable, at least more unpredictable than when she was ten, I don’t know what you need to do.” He had to figure her out. I knew she was going to keep pushing him away until one of us broke. He wasn’t gonna get anywhere with her until he knows, but I wasn’t gonna tell him. It was better that she at least talked to one of us instead of none of us.<br/>“I don’t want her to think that I’m not there for her now.” She wasn’t gonna let him in, not until he knows. <br/>“Just make sure you’re there when she needs it. Until then I don’t know what to tell you. Look I got to go.” I know I probably shouldn’t have just hung up on him, but I couldn’t handle this right now I had to focus on the case. <br/>“Hey Jay we got a lead on the case. Hank wants you and I to go take a look.” Kim gave me a look that said talk to me while we got our stuff to leave the precinct. Kim and I got into the car, with me driving, and Kim turned to me. Obviously motioning me to talk.<br/>“I don’t know how to deal with them. Will is full of guilt, and Lex is trying to protect him by pushing him away. I can’t blame either of them.” Kim didn’t say anymore because we had gotten to the site. She gave my hand a squeeze before getting out of the car. As soon as we got out of the car guns from inside the house went off. We were in a gunfight.</p><p>A few hours later<br/>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>I had just arrived at the hospital. Kim had called 30 minutes before saying that Jay had been shot. I dropped everything to get here. I couldn’t lose the only person I needed. When I get to the waiting room Kim gets up to give me a hug. I’m basically ripped out of her arms by Will.<br/>“Will, how is he?” I force myself out of his embrace. I had to force myself to not crumble in his arms to try and stay away from him. Part of me didn’t care because I just wanted Jay to be ok, but I still wanted to protect Will. He pulled away, frowning, looking me up and down. I was in a black blazer with a grey tank top and black pants along with wedged faux black leather heels. The only part of me that probably showed that I was falling about were my eyes.<br/>“He’s still in surgery. That’s all I know.” He tried to hug me again. I couldn’t let that happen because I knew that if he so much as looked at me I might not be able to keep up the act. I couldn’t hate him. He’s my brother. I go over to one of the chairs in the corner of the room, everyone getting the point to stay away from me. I was too busy thinking about Jay and mom. <br/>Five minutes had passed before someone approached me. I didn’t look up to see who until a hand came onto my shoulder. It was Will.<br/>“He’s gonna be ok. You know that right?” Was he really trying to be the comforting brother to me. Any other time I would’ve turned him down with a sarcastic comment, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not when the only person I needed on this planet could be dying. I gave into my emotions for probably the first time in over 10 years. <br/>“You don’t know that Will. He’s the only person I need. I can’t lose him.” I could already feel tears start to form. I willed them down easily after years of practice.<br/>“You have me.” He looked me in the eyes and I could tell he was being sincere, but I couldn’t be around him.<br/>“No, I don’t Will. Not when you don’t know.” I could tell by his eyes that he was getting frustrated with me. I just hoped that he left it be because I knew I couldn’t fight this any longer.<br/>“Then tell me Lex. What don’t I know?” I should’ve known that he wasn’t going to let it go, he was a Halstead after all.<br/>“No, you shouldn’t know.” He was confused. Tears were starting to form in my eyes and I didn’t know how to stop it. By now everyone was looking at us.<br/>“Why shouldn’t I know? Come on Lex I’m your older brother, and I’m sorry that I wasn’t there then. I’m here now. Why shouldn’t I know?” I couldn’t take it anymore. I missed him more than I missed mom, and she was dead. I tried to teach myself not to need things, but I needed my brothers. Both of them, and hearing Will say that he was here.<br/>“You shouldn’t have to look yourself in the mirror everyday and wonder if you’re becoming like him. Jay still does it. You shouldn’t have to deal with that because of him. I’m broken Will. You shouldn’t have to think of him like that.” He looked confused, and slightly angry. I didn’t dare look at everyone else. I looked down only to have a hand on my chin forcing me to meet Will’s eyes.<br/>“Who?” I finally let the tears fall. The ones I had been holding in since mom’s funeral. <br/>“Lexa who?” I broke. He was the only one that called me Lexa, and I haven’t heard that since I was 8. <br/>“Dad.” I whispered. He heard me, and so did everyone else in the room. The room had been silent since Will came up to me.<br/>“What did he do?” Will was pissed. He wasn’t gonna let me not tell him.<br/>“It doesn’t matter Will.” That didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try.<br/>“Lex what did he do?” It was pointless. I stand up with him backing up while I take off my blazer. All eyes are on me when I lift up my tank top to show my abdomen. They all see my scars.<br/>“After mom died dad started drinking more. When Jay got medically discharged he had to sort through some things in Dc so for the six months after mom’s death I lived with dad. When he would drink it would be to forget. He would think that I was mom. Every time I would tell him that she was dead he would get angry. It was mainly beatings, but the day that Jay came back he was already drinking when I got back from school. He was going through old photo albums. He blamed me for mom getting sick. He started beating me like normal, but then he picked up a knife. He stabbed me almost directly through the stomach. Jay got back five minutes after dad left, finding me on the floor, he called 911. I was taken in for emergency surgery, and Antonio was the detective responding. That’s why Jay knew him.” Will was processing. I look around to see almost everyone with tears in their eyes. I turn back to Will when I feel arms wrap around me.<br/>“I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for you.” I pull back slightly wiping a tear that had fallen from his cheek.<br/>“It’s ok Will. I’m ok. I forgave you a long time ago.”</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex’s P.O.V.<br/>    It had been 3 days since I told Will about what happened. I mean there were still things that neither him or Jay knew, but I was okay with that. Will and I hadn’t really talked since then. We both have busy schedules, especially me with Kevin’s trial coming up, but he made me promise that we would meet up sometime soon. Which is why I found myself walking towards a coffee shop that was close to both the hospital, and the D.A.'s office. When I walked through the door I immediately spotted Will’s red hair almost immediately. I go over, and sit down across from him. We just stared at each other, in awkward silence which I sort of expected, for a couple of minutes before he broke the silence.<br/>“I’ll go get our coffee. What do you want?” He looked slightly guilty that he didn’t know. I knew we had to get past that before we could really get close to eachother again. <br/>“A caramel macchiato please.” I sent him a quick smile, trying to make him feel better, before he went to go get our coffee. While he was waiting for the drinks I looked down at my phone to see a text from Jay wishing me good luck, and to tell him how it goes. He wanted to be here, but I told him that we didn’t need a mediator. To make sure that he didn’t worry about us too much, and rested, I was able to convince Kim to spend the day with him, though it didn’t take that much convincing.<br/>“Hey so here you go. How are you?” I guess he still didn’t like awkward silence.<br/>“I’m good, busy. What about you?”<br/>“Same...so I heard that you’re Kevin’s attorney for the trial, and that it’s coming up.”<br/>“Yeah less than a month now. Hopefully for Kevin this will all be over soon.” <br/>“Well...umm... I would like to come, and watch you in action. If you want of course.”<br/>“You don’t have to do that. It’s not even that interesting.” I knew that I had to be tough during the trial. I knew that it would be hard for anyone watching. Besides Jay and his team had to be at the trial to be able to give statements, and they would’ve demanded to be there anyway. I could already tell by the encounters that I had with Doyle’s team that the trial was not going to be pretty. That meant anyone watching would most likely get pissed off.<br/>“That’s ok. I want to come anyway.” He had that determined look in his eyes. The one that I knew I wouldn’t be able to dissuade him from coming unless I directly told him I didn’t want him there. That wasn’t it, but I don’t know. Maybe I didn’t want Will to see me as anything, but his little sister. I knew I needed to let him see who I am now. That I’m not that 10 year old anymore.<br/>“Sure, but it will probably be a couple of days of being in court before the verdict is decided. He smiled slightly. I could see the excitement in his eyes. I guess I was somewhat excited too. We had to cut it off there because he had to go to work. <br/>When I got to my apartment I finally let my mind wonder. It was nice having my brother back. Well, sort of. Neither of us are the people we were almost 20 years ago. We had both grown up over the past few years. If I had tried to let Will in 7 years ago all I would’ve gotten was the party boy who I hope was left in New York. I understand sort of what he was probably trying to do, but I had only really talked about my family members, and what most likely were the reasons that they did what they did in therapy around that time. I only started talking about what happened to me a couple of years ago. It might sound awful, but during that time whenever I would think about calling him I wanted to throw up. It wasn’t really anything that he had done, except for the fact that I was the one who called him when Mom died, and he was drunk. When I was finally able to get away from dad my mind sort of associated that one phonecall to dad. I was able to block everything about dad out. I changed my hair color, and grew it out so that I wouldn’t look like mom. I started wearing makeup everyday because mom hated it, and I started dressing more professionally. Almost always with sleeves to try and cover up the scar on my shoulder. I got a tattoo of a pair of angel wings, one black and one white, with my mom’s initials on my other shoulder to cover up that scar. It was small enough that to cover it I wouldn’t be inking my entire body. The only thing that I couldn’t force myself to forget was that phone call. <br/>My therapist said that the only way to get over that fear; to truly move on was to confront it. I guess that was the ultimate reason I was here, but the only way to do that was to allow myself to get to know Will. When I first came back to Chicago I wasn’t planning on pushing him away, but when I first saw him I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t even told Jay about any of it so he didn’t really understand, and made me stay there. I guess since mom died my default has always been to snap at people when I didn’t know what to do, or was uncomfortable. However, the more I thought about it after I snapped at him the more I convinced myself that I was protecting him. Not only from knowing what our father did, but also from knowing that his little sister was afraid of him. That he was the cause of some of her pain. Jay and Will have always felt guilty for things that were out of their control. It took me months to convince Jay that he couldn’t have known about Dad’s abuse sooner.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jay’s P.O.V.</p><p>Today was the day that Will and Lex were meeting up for coffee. Lex outright refused that I be there, and got Kim to babysit me. I atleast got her to call me afterwards so I know how things went, and if I need to mediate. It was now 2 hours after when they were supposed to meet, and the movie that Kim and I were watching had just ended so I figured I was allowed to call her since she hasn’t called me yet. Luckily, she picked up on the second ring because I might’ve gone a little overprotective. It’s part of having a little sister.<br/>“Hey Jay what’s up?” She sounded alright so I think it went well. I honestly didn’t know how she would be because of a lot of things with dad. I haven’t gotten the briefs on what she’s working on with the therapist since she turned 18.<br/>“How did it go today with Will? You were supposed to call me afterwards.” Kim gave me a look that basically said let them deal with this on their own. Go with that Lex sighed on the other side of the line.<br/>“I didn’t want to interrupt your alone time with Kim. It went ok. He’s coming to the trial so that’s something.” I wouldn’t be a good older brother if I didn’t notice that something was off.<br/>“I’m glad it wasn’t too bad, and he wants to support you: to see you in action. I don’t see how that’s a bad thing.”<br/>“It’s just...he only knows me as his kid sister. I just don’t know. I don’t know how I’m supposed to act around him anymore.” There it was. My little sister, who is more powerful and guarded than anyone I knew, hated having insecurities. She’s worked really hard to either overcome them, or not let them effect, but Will is still one of her main insecurities.<br/>“Act how you do around me. Lex there really isn’t that much of a difference.”<br/>“Yes there is. You practically raised me. All I remember about Will is his desire to become a doctor, and doing whatever it took to get there. I don’t remember what Will was like before mom got diagnosed. Now he wants to be a part of my life, and I want to let him in. I don’t really know how.” I knew that this was starting to get to her when she brought up our past.That was a topic that she treated like the plague. <br/>“Just let him in little by little. He knows that he doesn’t know you, but he’s trying. As long as you are too you both will be fine.”<br/>“Thanks Jay Jay.So how’s Kim?” Oh great, she’s back in annoying little sister mode.<br/>“I’m not talking about this right now.” At least it got a laugh out of her.<br/>“Oh come on I just bore my heart and soul out to you. Besides she likes you too so while you both have the day off you should ask her out.”<br/>“I said I’m not talking...wait what?” <br/>“You know what with the trial being soon, and all I’m gonna look over all my notes and such. Bye brother of mine. Love you.” <br/>“Love you t…” I couldn’t even finish because she ended the call to make sure I didn’t say anything else. I love my sister to bits, but if she is anything it’s manipulative and deceptive when she wants to be.<br/>“So how’d it go.” Kim had been watching a Blackhawks rerun, sitting next to me on the couch, while I was on my phone so she knew when I ended the call.<br/>“She said it was ok. Will probably is gonna say it went great because he doesn’t know her tells.” Kim turned off the tv to give me her full attention. She also pulled a face of concern.<br/>“That bad?”<br/>“I don’t think it was that bad because he is going to be at the trial, but I think interacting with Will again is bringing up a lot of Lex’s childhood because they haven’t talked really since then.” <br/>“She’ll get through it, especially with having an awesome brother like yourself.” I have to be their brother, not their parent. My life shouldn’t revolve around them 24/7: starting now.<br/>“Hey Kim, do you want to go out to dinner with me tonight?” <br/>“Sure”</p><p>Day of the Trial</p><p>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>    The trial was finally here. There hadn’t really been any changes though I think something is going on between Jay and Kim, but they haven’t said anything. Actually I had met Owen which went really well. Anyway everyone was in their positions in the courtroom except for the judge. Will was right behind Jay, and even more surprisingly there were a lot of people from both Med and 51 here. </p><p>(Fast Forward)</p><p>“We the jury find Thomas Doyle guilty of all counts” </p><p>(Fast Forward)</p><p>    After an hour after being dragged to Molly’s for a celebration I was finally able to sneak out. I’m sorry, but I haven’t had a proper night's rest in...I don’t know how long. It always feels good when you win one, but this just felt different. A good different definitely, but I was glad to be able to get some sleep last night. Unfortunately, however my body’s alarm clock decided it didn’t want a day off so, although I had the day off, I was up at 5 like normal. Since I wasn’t going to be able to get back to sleep I might as well get all of the errands I have been pushing off done. I’m walking out of my apartment complex when I hear someone call my name. When I turn towards the voice all I hear is a bang, and then all I feel is pain. <br/>    “You shouldn’t have gone against the blue line.”</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Will’s P.O.V.</p><p>          “Halstead incoming!” It was just another day in the ER with Maggie commanding the floor.<br/>          “What do we got?” The ambo had just arrived.<br/>           “A female in her late twenties with a bullet wound in her lower abdomen” The paramedics pull out the gurney and that’s when I see her.<br/>          “Lexa?” Maggie noticed too because she called Connor over to take over. Maggie takes me over to sit in the break room<br/>          “Will, she’ll be fine. Connor’s going to take amazing care of her.” She sits next to me while signaling a nurse to get Natalie. When she gets in Maggie switches places saying that she’ll let Jay know, and Nat sits down next to me.<br/>          “Lexa was born with atrial fibrillation. She was a month premature, and wasn’t breathing. Jay and I were both there. I remember her being blue, and not crying like everyone expected. Lex was in NICU for the first month. I was the first person to hold her. I promised her that I would protect her.” I put my head on her shoulder while she ran her hand through my hair.<br/>          “Will this isn’t your fault.”<br/>          “She’s the reason I became a doctor.”<br/>          “I didn’t know that.”<br/>           “When she was born I was 7. I would watch her in the incubator for as long as they would let me: watch the doctors go in and out. When she was finally allowed to go home I promised myself that I was gonna do that; I was going to be the person that helped bring my sister home. Then when she was 2 she had a scare. Lexa stopped breathing for a minute. Mom flipped out and took us all to the emergency room. That’s when she was officially diagnosed with atrial fibrillation, but she’s had it since she was born. After mom explained what that meant I decided I wanted to be a heart doctor.”<br/>          “Why didn’t you?”<br/>          “She had a couple more scares, and after being diagnosed, there really wasn’t anything we could do except take her to the emergency room to make sure everything was ok. Lex was already on meds, but it was just a precaution. There was this doctor. He had basically claimed Lex as his patient, and would go out of his way for me, Jay, and Lex. He was the one that was able to explain to Lex why she would sometimes have a harder time breathing. I decided that I was going to be just like him in hopes that I would be able to make it look less scary.” <br/>    “You’re really good at that, Will.”<br/>    “But I couldn’t do that for her. I wasn’t there when she needed me. I broke my promise to her. What if she dies?” Tears started to well up in my eyes. All the guilt from not being there flooded into me. <br/>    “Will Lex is going to be ok, and then you can spend the rest of time being an amazing older brother. Besides you already have a way in.”<br/>    “Oh yeah what?”<br/>    “Owen. Did you see them the other day? He loves her.”</p><p>Jay’s P.O.V.</p><p>    Unfortunately, unlike Lex, Kevin had to come into work right after the trial. I think this is the most excited I’ve ever seen Kevin at work. Him and Adam were finishing off the box of donuts that Kim had brought in as a means of celebration. Kim and I were over at my desk watching them when my phone rang.<br/>    “Halstead” <br/>    “Jay it’s Maggie I need you to come to Med as soon as you can.” Her voice was panicked which made me slightly worried. I stood up, and got my stuff, while Kim looked at me in concern.<br/>    “Is Will alright?” Everyone  was looking at me now.<br/>    “Will is fine. Jay it’s Alexa. She’s been shot, and is in surgery now.” Everything stops. Is this what it was like for her when I was shot. Everyone was asking what was wrong, but I couldn’t respond. I had to get there.<br/>    “I’ll be right over there.” I hang up, and then look straight at Voight.<br/>    “We have a new case. Lex has been shot.” He goes right into boss mode telling Adam, Kevin, Voight and Vanessa to go to the crime scene to see what they can find while me and Kim are going to Med. Kim made me let her drive because my head was messed up. When she pulls up to Gaffney I get out and bolt before she can even park the car. As I get in there Maggie immediately runs over to me. Kim was just getting through the door.<br/>    “Jay, Connor’s still in surgery with her. She came in with a bullet wound in her lower abdomen. Nat is with Will in the breakroom. She’s gonna be fine.” Maggie goes back over to the nurse’s station. Kim puts a hand on my shoulder.<br/>    “Come on Jay lets go sit down.” I let her lead me over to a chair before sitting down, and getting out my phone. I pulled up an album on my phone that I had of almost all of my pictures of Lex. The only times I looked at them were when I had a rough day. I stopped at a video that mom had taken. It was Lex’s soldier solo. I just let it play over and over watching it. <br/>    “Did Lex dance a lot?” Kim held my other hand as a way to comfort me.<br/>    “All the time. Mom signed her up for dance classes when she was 2. This one’s her favorite. She was 11 when I came back from my first tour. Mom and I were planning to surprise her at her dance studio’s showcase because I was coming home the day before. Lex overheard mom talking to her dance instructor, and went to her dance teacher to help her choreograph her own solo. I was supposed to surprise her after the showcase, but when the dance teacher told mom that Lex knew she said it was ok for me to come onto the stage right after she finished her solo. Even though she was expecting it she didn’t let go of me until the next day.” Kim puts her head on my shoulder.<br/>             “Do you know if she still dances?” That was a really good question.<br/>             “I honestly have no idea. It was always her thing with mom so I never brought it up, and she did so much in high school I couldn’t keep track.” I look up at the sound of footsteps to see Nat, Will, and Owen walking over. I guess Helen must have had to drop him off, or Natalie’s shift was over. Owen gives me and Kim big hugs before sitting on my lap: seeing Lex's soldier video.<br/>             “Auntie Lexi danced?” I look towards Will to see if Owen knew what was going on. He shrugged so I guess it meant a little.<br/>              “Yeah bud Auntie Lexi danced.” It was actually funny that the only way I could call her Lexi is if I’m talking to Owen. He’s the only one that is allowed to call her that.<br/>               “What else did she do?” Will looked somewhat intrigued too. That’s understandable considering he didn’t really know her when she was in high school.<br/>             “She did a lot of stuff. Lex did Crosscountry, Track and Field, and was on the Swim team. She also was a part of a lot that I don’t remember, and the National Honor Society. While doing all that was also valedictorian.” And while she was doing all of that she was somehow managing to deal with mom’s death, dad, me returning from war, and going to a therapist almost everyday. I never really thought of that, but that girl has always been stronger than everyone else. She was the reason why I got better after coming home.<br/>    “Auntie’s really cool.” Owen had put his head on my shoulder, and before any of us could tell he was asleep. Little kids made everything feel better.<br/>    It had been an hour and we still didn’t know anything. Both Natalie and Will had gotten changed into normal clothes, and Owen was still asleep. That is one of the reasons why I passed him over to Kim when Connor came in so I could go over by Will. <br/>    “Alexa is going to be fine. The bullet nicked her colon so we had to stitch that up, and the way she fell bruised a couple of her ribs. She also has a couple of bruises, and scratches on her face, but otherwise she will be 100% in a couple of months. She is also awake if you want to see her.”</p><p>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>    All I heard when I woke up was beeping. Opening my eyes felt like one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. When I finally opened them a brunette guy, whom I recognized as Connor Rhodes. He was Will’s friend. I’ve seen him at Molly’s a couple of times, and he was at the trial.<br/>“Hey Doc, how are you today?” He started to check my pupils with a light, probably for a concussion, and while he was doing that he responded.<br/>“You know I should be asking you that. You definitely have your brothers scared.” Oh...Will probably saw me when I arrived.<br/>“It’s not like I can control when I get shot.”<br/>“Good you remember. I’m Connor Rhodes by the way. I don’t think we’ve ever been formally introduced.” You know what surprisingly we hadn’t. I don’t even think I’ve talked to him before.<br/>“Yeah Will has always been forgetful like that.” I tried to send him a smile, but it hurt a little. Surprisingly I wasn’t in that much pain.<br/>“You're either really good at what you do, or I’m high on pain meds.” That got him to smile. I really hope I’m on pain meds because I’m pretty sure that I think he has a nice smile. Feelings make me want to crawl out of my skin.<br/>“I’ll take the compliment. Do you want me to go get your brothers?” I nod slightly while everything starts to catch up to me. I was shot. He puts one of his hands on my shoulder before leaving to go get my brothers. <br/>It only takes around 5 minutes before both of my brothers bursting through the door followed by Nat, Kim, and Owen whom Kim was holding. He looked to be asleep. Will went straight to my chart while Jay started checking the scratches on my face. Once they were both done with that I got light hugs from both of them, Natalie, and Kim after she handed Owen to Nat.<br/>“Lex what the hell happened.” Jay was the one to ask me that, and I’m not going to apologize that my law training kicked in.<br/>“Is this going to be the official witness statement?” He looked confused, but nodded.<br/>“I’m assuming that Intelligence has the case, and that means that you officially are off it. This means that you can’t be the one to ask me that: Kim should.”<br/>“Why?”<br/>“So I don’t have to lie on the stand. Kevin’s case wouldn’t have gone as far as it did if they wouldn’t have refused to take the deal. This will already be connected to that, and there are less witnesses for this case.” Out of everyone that was there only Will caught onto what I was getting at.<br/>“Lexa why would it be connected to the trial?”<br/>“Other than the obvious timing? Whoever did this said that I ‘shouldn’t have gone against the blue line.’” Out of nowhere Jay bolted out of there. I gave Kim a look that said ‘please stop him from killing someone’ though I think it was implied.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam’s P.O.V.</p><p>We had just gotten back to the precinct after going to the crime scene. There was no news about Lex, and whether or not she's ok. Kevin and I had stopped at Trudy’s desk to tell her about everything we had found when the doors suddenly burst open. Everyone in the room turns to see Jay just standing there, with Kim behind him, scanning the room obviously looking for someone. When his eyes landed on Nolan you could see his whole body darken. Then Jay did the one thing that for the past few months I only thought Kevin would be pushed to do. He walked right up to Nolan, and the only ones who realized what he was gonna do were our team. I don’t know whether it should be unfortunate that we couldn’t stop him in time before he right hooked the man before pushing him up against the wall. Everyone just stood in shock, except for Kim who was working on getting Jay to let Nolan go. It took me, Kevin, and Kim before Jay’s grip even loosened. When we finally got him to let Nolan go everyone finally got to hear why Jay lost control.<br/>“That’s my little sister! Lex didn’t do anything to you!” We managed to pull Jay towards the stairs with Voight’s help, who had come downstairs after hearing the commotion. Then, Nolan did something that made everyone want to kill him. With a smirk he said probably the worst thing possible.<br/>“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Alexa knew the risk of taking that case.You should’ve taught her better Detective Halstead about the importance of the blue line.”</p><p>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>    I had just gotten off the phone with Kim who told me that Jay didn’t kill anyone. Although, he did right hook Nolan which if I didn’t have to be professional I would’ve done multiple times before now. Right now I was just laying down in my room. It was really the first time since I woke up that I was alone for a long period of time. Will and Nat had been called in, and before that Owen was taken down to the in hospital daycare for a while so I could get some rest. That wasn’t gonna happen. I mean I was asleep for god knows how long. I guess Doctor Rhodes also thought that I didn’t need that much rest because he walked in with an older guy. The older guy came and sat at the chair by my bed while Connor checked my vitals.<br/>    “Hey Alexa this is Dr. Daniel Charles, and he’s gonna talk to you for a bit. I’m gonna leave you two alone for a bit. If you need anything just ask a nurse to get me. Alright?” I nodded towards him before turning my head towards Dr. Charles. My guess is that he’s some type of therapist.<br/>    “Well Ms. Halstead I’m here to talk to you about whatever you want.” Yep I was right.<br/>    “I’m ok doctor...really. You don’t have to do this. I’ve gone to therapy for years; I know how to cope with it.” It seemed like he wasn’t surprised with how I answered because he just nodded, and we sat there in silence for a while. He was probably thinking about another approach; probably going to go on the empathetic route.<br/>    “You know he doesn’t do that with most people.” This isn’t how that path starts. <br/>    “What do you mean?” Who was he even talking about? His eyes just lit up; dang it I just walked right into his trap. Whatever it is that he’s playing at.<br/>    “Connor...he cares about all of his patients, but I’ve never seen him check on one of them as much as he has with you.” That doesn’t mean anything.<br/>    “It could just be that I’m the little sister of his best friend.” There was no way the hot doctor liked me...and I really have to stop calling him hot doctor.<br/>    “I don’t know Ms. Halstead. I’ve known Connor a long time, and I’ve never seen him like this.”<br/>    “He doesn’t know me, and I don’t know him. There’s no way.” Before he could respond I got a text from Kim saying that the whole Intelligence Unit was about to come up.<br/>    “Can we change topics though because I really don’t want either of my brothers to hear us talking about guys: especially one that is Will’s best friend.” He sent me a smile and a nod before starting to leave.<br/>    “Well it was a pleasure to meet you Ms. Halstead, and if you ever want to talk I’m always open ears.”</p><p> </p><p>Daniel’s P.O.V. </p><p>    I had just left Alexa’s room, and watched as everyone in the Intelligence Unit entered her room before going to find Connor. Surprisingly I was able to get a lot from her based on our conversation, and the gist I got from her therapist. I figured that Will and Jay were both already in their own emotional turmoil that they would run themselves thin. That’s one of the reasons why I went to find Connor; the other one being that Connor was the one who asked me to talk to her. I found him in the breakroom alone, thankfully. As soon as he saw me he stood up. <br/>“So…” I had to think about what I could tell him in order not to breach patient confidentiality. <br/>“She’s gonna go through a lot, and I feel like right now she’s gonna try to push it down to make it easier on Jay and Will.” At that he made a face.<br/>“That’s not healthy.”<br/>“No it’s not, and at some point she’s going to break, but she’s not going to go to either of her brothers. Part of that is most likely because of how she grew up, and another part I’d place on the Halsteads’ nature to try and protect everyone.”<br/>“So what can we do?” <br/>“Be there for her because at some point she is going to break, but I’m almost positive she won’t go to either of them.”<br/>“Yeah sure I’ll stop by her room after visiting hours. Thanks Doc.” After giving me a farewell his pager went off, and he was gone. I’d put money that those two are gonna be in some sort of relationship in the next couple of months. This will be interesting to see how it plays out.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Will’s P.O.V.</p><p>    My shift just ended, but before I go home I’m checking on my sister. I haven’t really had a chance to really see/talk to her since she woke up. Natalie finished earlier than me, and already had taken Owen home so I didn’t have to worry about the time. When I get to the door, and knock she looks up at me.<br/>    “Good news is that Jay didn’t kill Nolan; Kim just texted me that she took him to his apartment to help him calm down.” Those two are so dating.<br/>    “That’s good, and how are you doing?”<br/>    “I’m good. You should probably go get some rest too.”<br/>    “I just wanted to check in on you before I left. You know you scared the crap out of me.” She looked at me with a little guilt.<br/>    “I’m sorry, but I can’t exactly control someone shooting me.”<br/>    “I know: just get some rest ok. Owen’s gonna want to spend time with his Auntie Lexi.” I lean down to kiss her on the forehead while she lets out a small laugh.<br/>    “That’s gonna be the only good thing that comes from me getting shot.” Just before I walk out of the room Lexa says something that I will always remember.<br/>    “Hey Will...can I have a hug?” When I turn back around I see something that I never thought I’d see again; someone who I thought I’d never be able to see again: my baby sister. Sure Lexa was my sister, but this was the first time since she came back that she let me see her vulnerable. I hated to see my sister vulnerable, but I couldn’t help but smile because this meant that she felt that she could look to me for comfort: like she used too.<br/>    “Yeah Lexa, whatever you need.” I walked back over to her bed, sat down on her bed, and put my arms around her. <br/>    “It’s gonna be ok, right?” She put her head on my shoulder, and we just stared out into the hallway through the open door.<br/>    “Yeah Songbird, everything’s gonna be just fine.” I just sat there with her for a bit: part of me didn’t want to leave. This was the first time that we had a true brother sister moment. I hadn’t even realized that so much time had gone past, but I had even forgotten about the other nickname I had for her. It just slipped out of my mouth. I can’t remember the last time I called her that. </p><p>Connor’s P.O.V. </p><p>    Visiting hours had just ended, and Will had just left so I figured it would be a good time to check in on the youngest Halstead. When I enter her room I’m immediately met with bright blue eyes staring at me.<br/>    “How are you feeling?” Alexa kept staring at me for a while looking a little confused.<br/>    “I’m okay. Can I ask you a question?”<br/>    “Shot.”<br/>    “Why did you have Dr. Charles talk to me? I know that it’s not protocol when someone is shot. I’m a defense attorney.” I didn’t really know how to answer this.<br/>    “I just wanted to make sure you were ok.” She smiled at me while I pretended to make myself busy by checking her vitals. <br/>    “So it has nothing to do with Will being my brother?” Did she really think I would go out of my way to help her because she’s my best friend’s sister? Well I mean it does make sense.<br/>    “You might be surprised, but it never crossed my mind. I just wanted him to talk to you because of your past.” I might not have been there when she told Will because I was operating on Jay, but I was the one that Will went to talk about it. I made sure to meet her eyes while I was saying this to be able to see how she reacted. The only reaction I got was that her eyes went blank for a second before she snapped out of it. <br/>    “You didn’t have to do that. I’ve been in therapy since I was 13. I’m all good.” Alexa was definitely not going to let anyone in right now, and that was ok. She’ll ask for help when she needs it.<br/>    “Well I should probably get going, but on the paper on the table is my phone number. If you do need someone, and don’t want to go to your brothers you can call. You’re not alone Alexa.”<br/>    “It’s Lex by the way. No one calls me Alexa.”<br/>    “Alright well goodnight Lex”<br/>    “Night” </p><p>    As I’m walking to my car I can’t shake this feeling that something was off. I don’t know why, but I feel like there is more to her past than what everyone knows. She’s definitely hiding something. I don’t know how I know that because this is really the first real conversation I’ve had with her, but I know.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>    It had been 3 days since I was shot, and everything was starting to calm again. The past couple of days Jay and Will have been more overprotective then normal. Let’s just say I was ready to be discharged in an hour. That way I won’t be as easily accessible to Will, who for the past 3 days will just show up at my room at random times whenever he has a break. I love my brothers, but that doesn’t mean I want to spend every free moment with either of them. Then there’s also the fact that I don’t like hospitals; it’s a good thing that the ED is nowhere near the cancer ward or else I would’ve made a break for it. Another good thing about me being discharged today is that both Will and Jay are working, and I was able to convince them to let Kim take me home. Knock...Knock<br/>“Hey you ready to get out of here.” In came the grey eyed doctor whom I’ve gotten to know better during my stay here.<br/>“Yeah, is Kim here yet?” I hope she isn’t late because Will’s shift starts in 30 minutes, and I’m hoping to be gone before he can come in and start going through the list of things that I need to be watching for...for the third time. I know he’s worried, but the reference third times a charm should not be used when you are telling someone a list.<br/>“She is, but Will got here early so he wouldn’t miss you, and is going through a list of all the danger symptoms she should be looking for.” Kim isn’t even staying with me; she’s just dropping me off.<br/>“At least it isn’t me again.” We both laugh at that because last night before Will left I got the list for the second time, and Connor ended up coming in during the last half of it. Thankfully, Connor was able to get Will to leave before he went into what could happen if these symptoms show up.<br/>“How about we meet up with them so you can get out of here.” He is the best.<br/>“Yes please.”</p><p>4 hours later</p><p>    Why did I want to be alone? Oh right because I don’t like being stuck in one place, but I didn’t think about how I wouldn’t be distracted by people anymore. That I’d be alone in my mind. I thought that I’d be ok, and for a little bit I was. I made myself some food, and picked up the book that I was reading. After an hour or two of reading I turned on the news. Worst choice ever because 15 minutes in they cut to a car chase which ended in a shootout/suicide by cop. Unfortunately, the chopper’s mic was working and picked up the gunfire very clearly. When I heard that it all went blank, like when I was shot, and then I felt that pain again. It took me thirty minutes to be able to get to the point where I could think clearly, but that panic was still there. I thought I was ok.<br/>    Honestly, I thought that I would be ok. That being shot was no different than anything I had already been through. I had been taught enough different coping mechanisms to last me for years. I honestly thought I was done with this; my mind creating more difficulties for me. I’m weak because I can’t handle it. All I am is weak. My mind just had to make me relive that moment: that pain. I didn’t even know I could feel that type of pain anymore: not after everything. Not after everything that happened with him. Jay didn’t even know everything. I couldn’t tell anyone about that. <br/>            Lex, stop thinking about it because your mind is going to slip even further into this black hole. Stop thinking about it. Please...make it stop. Everything is coming at me at once. The gunshot...his voice...all the things he ever said to me. It’s surrounding me like a tornado. <br/>    “You shouldn’t have gone against the blue line...You’re the reason why she’s dead...You should be dead: not her...You killed your mother; it’s your fault... You don’t think I wouldn’t switch places with her if I could…” <br/>    It started with the voice of my shooter, but then it turned into the voice of my father, and then it was my voice. I know this feeling, this claustrophobia, all too well. I can’t help, but find some truth in his words. I wish I couldn’t, but I did. I know that this is one of the bad ones; I haven’t had one like this since mom died. I needed someone here to make sure that I didn’t go off the deep end. I just needed someone to distract me. I couldn’t go to Will or Jay, and anyone from Jay’s team because then he’ll know. This is the one downside to not having any friends outside of your brother’s friend group. Brother...Will...him...he finished his shift around the time that I left the hospital, and Will hadn’t even started his. Did I really want to do this? I could call Dr. Charles, but I don’t know if he’s working right now, and knowing Will he’s gonna be trying to get advice on how to help me. That meant Charles was out, and I couldn’t go to Natalie she had Owen. If I was gonna call him I needed to calm down; I couldn’t have him freaking out, and possibly going to Will. No...no…no  I’m not gonna do this. I’m just gonna go, and take a bath, and try to get some sleep. If I can’t let my brothers in then why did I think it would be a good idea to let a semi-random stranger in. Bad idea Alexa Wren...bad idea.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>    I was able to get some sleep after my panic attack, and now I was on my way to the precinct to give my official statement. That meant I most likely would have to see Kevin, who could barely look at me when I was still in the hospital, it was pretty obvious that he blamed himself. I knew that I was going to have to face that, and put on a brave face so that no one worries, and so Kevin doesn’t put more guilt on his shoulders. I just wanted to move past it, but it was hard to do when I walk into the precinct and am immediately met with Trudy Platt’s concerned look. Some of the patrol officers were giving me a similar look, and a couple just looked down. Great...my career is to protect the rights’ of these people, and all they see is a gunshot victim. Victim...I hated that word when used in reference to myself. I really hoped this wasn’t how I was going to be treated in the other districts, or for the rest of my career in the DA’s office.<br/>    “Alexa should you even be walking? Wait...did you drive here?” Oh yeah I really hope that this doesn’t continue in the other precincts, or at my job. If it does I’ll go crazy.<br/>    “Trudy I’m fine, and I can drive as long as I don’t overexert myself. Can I go up?” She nodded, still looking at me warily, but did open the gate. While I'm walking up the stairs I try to be as quiet as I could be: to hold off the concerned looks for as long as I could. Unfortunately, when I reached the fifth step Adam came to the entranceway, and immediately jogged down to “help” me.<br/>    “Lex why didn’t you tell me you were coming here; I would’ve gone, and picked you up.” He moves right next to me, and is watching every step I take.<br/>    “Because I’m not completely disabled, and I can take care of myself.” His hands immediately went up, and I didn’t mean for that to come out as snappy as it did.<br/>    “Sorry...I just don’t like everyone treating me like I’m this fragile thing.” I think he got the message, and this is where my relationship with him and Jay differ. Adam’s better at letting go of his worries when it comes to me, and letting me be an adult. Though he’s not my “actual” brother who’s known me my whole life so it’s sort of explainable.<br/>    “Alright, then I guess we should keep you away from Kev.” <br/>    “No, point me in his direction; the sooner I set him straight the better because then he’s not wasting all this time feeling guilty when he shouldn’t.” After a few more steps we were in the squad room, and I was already surrounded by everyone except Voight and Kevin, who was sulking in the corner. I decided I was going to give my official statement to Kim, and then talk to Kevin because I was pretty sure that was going to be more emotional for me. <br/>    It was now five minutes later, the statement didn’t take that long because I was just confirming everything I told them that night, and when I walked out of the break room I saw that the corner that Kevin was inhabiting was empty. He was avoiding me, and that wasn’t going to work. After Adam pointed me in the direction of the locker room I found him a couple minutes later.<br/>    “You’re avoiding me.” He jumped. Did he seriously not realize that I was there. His eyes were pouring with guilt.<br/>    “Wouldn’t you if you were in my position.” <br/>    “Honestly yes, but if the roles were reversed you would tell me that it wasn’t my fault. It’s not your fault Kev.” <br/>    “Yes it is. Lex you got shot because you were my attorney.”<br/>    “I knew the risks of taking your case. You didn’t point the gun, and didn’t pull the trigger. And unless you have some secret ability to control someone’s mind then it is not your fault. Now come on stop the sulking, and work on finding my shooter.” I then dragged him lightly in that annoying sister way, which I have perfected, and then after convincing everyone that I could drive myself back to my apartment I left. I had to pull over halfway through just to get a breather. It wasn’t a full on panic attack, but that was the first time that I verbally mentioned him. I know I need to talk to someone, but I just don’t want to worry anyone. I mean Jay’s been through wars, and has been shot multiple times, but can still run into danger like it’s nothing. Will had been in Sudan for god knows how long, and deals with the stress of the ER almost everyday. Why couldn’t I be as strong as them? I need to talk to someone. I already eliminated everyone Jay worked with because I was almost certain they would get concerned and tell Jay. I guess that only really left people at Med because lawyers aren’t exactly the perfect teammates. The only ones that I really talked to were the interns, and that’s because they shadowed our cases. Hence why I only really have Med. I know that I can’t go to Will because he’ll just worry too much, but I’m pretty sure he is still on shift and after working all night I’m sure he would appreciate some coffee. I could then see who was working, and who wasn’t. Though if I admit it to myself there were only two people that I had already decided would be the only two I would talk too. One of which I had no clue whether or not he was working, and if he wasn’t then I had no way to contact him. The other I was pretty sure he wasn’t working because his shift ended a little bit after Will’s started, and I could contact him. Still not sure how I feel about that so I’m going to hope Dr. Charles is working. </p><p>Will’s P.O.V.</p><p>    I spotted her the moment she walked into the ED. What the hell was she doing here? Was she ok? Why did she have two travel cups? After checking in with Maggie, and telling her where I was going I walked right over to her. When she met my eyes I immediately got an eye roll. Probably when she saw the concern in my eyes.<br/>    “Before you ask I am completely fine. Just thought I’d bring my brother, who has worked all night, some coffee.” Something was up with her, but if I learned anything from the past few weeks is that I couldn’t push her. If she wanted to tell me she would. Lexa isn’t my 10 year old little sister anymore; I have to remind myself that she is a 28 year old adult. I take the coffee cup that she handed me.<br/>    “Thanks you didn’t have to do that. Though I have to ask, is there any other reason why you just randomly stopped by?” I could tell by the look in her eyes that she wasn’t just here for coffee. Her eyes were scanning the ED, and when she did finally meet my eyes I saw a slight bit of panic. <br/>    “I was just bored at home. I had to stop by the precinct to give them my official statement, and figured I could stop by here and say hi.” There was definitely something else. I had a feeling that there was someone she was looking for, and the only two that I assume she’d be looking for is Connor and possibly Dr. Charles; she knew that Natalie wasn’t working. <br/>    “Lexa Dr. Charles isn’t here. He went home a couple of hours ago; I can give him a call if you want.” I guess Daniel because I assumed Lex knew that Connor’s shift ended yesterday, and my assumption was right because I caught onto the disappointment in her eyes.<br/>    “No it’s fine. I’ll catch him another time. Anyway I should probably let you get back to saving lives.” She turns, and starts to walk towards the door. Alright she didn’t want to talk, but maybe…<br/>    “Hey Songbird, do you need a hug?” I say it low enough that it doesn’t attract unwanted attention, but loud enough that she still heard me. Sure enough she’s in my arms, holding onto me like her life depended on it. Was this how it was for Jay when she was a teen because if so I don’t know how he didn’t kill dad. After a minute she pulls away, I was surprised to see no tears, and kissed my cheek.<br/>    “Thanks”<br/>    “Anytime Songbird; you know that right?” I just get a slight nod before she starts to leave again, and this time I let her. As soon as she leaves my field of view I turn back to the nurse’s table. Where I already had the attention of Maggie.<br/>    “That looks like it went well.” Yeah to anyone who didn’t talk to her. There was something majorly wrong, and she obviously came to me because she doesn’t want Jay to know. She came to me, for the first time in over eighteen years, and I wasn’t going to let her down.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>    As soon as I got into my apartment I couldn’t stop it. Tears flooded my eyes, and I started to hyperventilate. It all was catching up with me; for the second time since I was shot; the pain, the panic...the fear. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was scared. I thought that I was going to die. It wasn’t the first time...hell it wasn’t even the second time that I’ve felt like this, but it has never affected me like this before. Knock...Knock I jumped. Fear consumed me...what if they were here to finish the job...what if it was him. When I saw it was Will through the peephole I tried to calm myself down as quickly as I could. Obviously it wasn’t enough because when I opened the door Will looked at me with a lot of concern. <br/>    “Will, what are you doing here?” I couldn’t break...please don’t break. He has enough to worry about; he shouldn’t need to worry about me.<br/>    “I just wanted to make sure that you were ok.” I knew I shouldn’t have gone to the hospital. Of course it would make him worry; I had never done that before. <br/>    “I’m fine Will; I was only shot.” Shot...I was shot. That was the first time I admitted it to myself. I was shot. Then, my mind just went into the spiral. The gunshot...the smell...the voices. I couldn’t stop them.<br/>    “You shouldn’t have gone against the blue line...You’re the reason why she’s dead...You should be dead: not her...You killed your mother; it’s your fault... You don’t think I wouldn’t switch places with her if I could…” <br/>    I was shot. My lip starts to quiver, and I can’t stop the tears. I was shot. I was shot. <br/>    “I was shot, Will.” I’m immediately pulled into a hug. He pulled me over to my couch after closing the door, and just sat there with me while I just tried to calm down. <br/>“You know I’m here for you if you ever need anything.” I just nod, and press my face deeper into his chest. I didn’t want to talk; I didn’t know what I wanted, but I knew I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t even know that I wanted someone here until Will showed up. <br/>“Do you want to talk about it?” I just shook my head no. I know he is trying to be here for me, and he’s doing a really good job, I just don’t think talking to someone who isn’t a professional Will truly help. This is more than me being shot. I knew that it had more to deal with him; things that I’m not ready to tell either one of my brothers. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.<br/>“Do you want to see if you can talk to Dr. Charles?” I nod my head yes.<br/>“Alright...how about I stay the night, and then tomorrow morning we can go talk to him. Is that ok?” I again nod my head yes. I think he could tell that I couldn’t talk about it today, or even the topic of it so he quickly went to something else.<br/>“Are you still obsessed with ice hockey because I’m pretty sure the Thunderhawks are playing today if you want to watch.” I nod my head yes once again, and he turns on the game.<br/>About twenty minutes into it, my head is still on his shoulder, I finally decide to speak.<br/>“Thanks...for this. I’m glad you’re here.” He took a deep breath of mocked shock. I could tell.<br/>“She can speak, and here I thought I was going to have only head nods for the rest of the night.” I hit him slightly, but do give a small laugh.<br/>“Seriously, though, Lexa there is no place I would rather be. Whatever you need I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.” <br/>“I know that now…Uh...Could you possibly not tell Jay about this. His emotions are already on a high because of the case, and if he finds out about this, right now, he’s gonna spread himself thin.” I really hoped Will wasn’t going to go to Jay. They both are hotheads, but Jay has always been more of a parent to me. When something is wrong with me he’s invested 110%, but he forgets that I’m a 28 year old grown adult. I just had a feeling that Will wasn’t gonna be like that; at least to that extent.<br/>“I did tell you whatever you need: didn’t I?” I don’t really remember anything after that because I fell asleep somewhere after that.</p><p> </p><p>The Next Day</p><p>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>“So Ms. Halstead, do you want to tell me what is going on.” I was seriously getting flashbacks to when Jay first started making me go to therapy. The only real differences were Dr. Charles instead of Dr. Scherick, and that it was Will who took me out to a special breakfast instead of Jay. It was a nice thought, both times, but I’m not the type of person who you have to bribe to go to therapy. I know that’s probably not what Will was trying to do, that was probably more about sibling bonding, but I know for a fact that’s what Jay was trying to do because he hated the thought of therapy. I’m not like that, never have been, if I’m in therapy I’m in it 100%.<br/>“Just to clarify everything I tell you is between you and me.” What? Alright I know I said 100%, but I’ve never had a therapist who is my brother’s coworker.<br/>“Yes, Ms. Halstead whatever you tell me will stay between us. I’m just here to try and help you. I did read the notes in your file from previous doctors who have worked with you so for the majority I am caught up, and we can focus on now.” I had a feeling that now wasn’t the big problem.<br/>“I doubt that Doc.” Dr. Charles gave me a look of slight confusion. Of course he would have no idea what I was talking about; I’ve never talked about this before: to anyone.<br/>“What do you mean?” Deep breath. Here goes nothing.<br/>“There are some things about my time with my dad that no one know.”<br/>“Not even Jay?” Oh god no.<br/>“Especially Jay.” He made the motion to go on, but I didn’t know how I wanted to go about this. <br/>“As you probably already know from the files my father physically abused me.” Dr. Charles nodded slightly; trying to encourage me to continue.<br/>“He also mentally abused me: just to a further extent then what everyone thinks.” I could see his eyes assuming that he sexually abused me.<br/>“He didn’t do that: surprisingly.”<br/>“Then what did he do Ms. Halstead?” I was actually going to do this?<br/>“It’s Lex, please. Just to be completely sure that my brothers will not learn anything about what I’m about to tell you.” <br/>“Of course Lex; you can trust me.” <br/>“No offense Doc, but I don’t trust easily.”<br/>“That’s understandable, but I hope you learn to trust me.” I needed to do this; I needed to face it. Face my past. Face him.<br/>“He had a gun, actually more than one, but his favorite was his pistol.” I needed to breathe. I had to do this; I had to tell someone. Face your past Lex. Don’t let him dictate your life.<br/>“You’re the reason why she’s dead...You should be dead: not her...You killed your mother; it’s your fault... You don’t think I wouldn’t switch places with her if I could…” </p><p>“Lex what did he do?” Now or never<br/>“He blamed me for her death. He said it was my fault; that she became weaker when she gave birth to me, and that’s the reason she got sick.” </p><p>“You’re the reason why she’s dead...You should be dead: not her...You killed your mother; it’s your fault... You don’t think I wouldn’t switch places with her if I could…” </p><p>Don’t listen to the voices; don’t listen to him. He is wrong Alexa you know that...right? Maybe he isn’t; why else would a father treat their only daughter like that. That hatred doesn’t just come from nowhere. This is your fault. You did this. Tears start to flow from my eyes, and it gets to the point where I can’t even see. I can’t even focus on where I am.<br/>“Alexa.” I jump when I feel the hand on my shoulder. I look up at Dr. Charles, and I know he’s concerned.<br/>“Do you want me to get Will?” <br/>“No.” I shake my head slightly.<br/>“Then do you want to tell me where you went too?” I needed to do this. I know I can’t keep it in my mind forever. I nod slightly, and he goes to sit down next to me, probably knowing I was gonna need the support.<br/>“You were talking about your father’s pistol.” Now or never; you need to do this.<br/>“He would get it out while he was drunk, sometimes even when he was sober, and would swing it around. I normally tried to stay in my room because he would sometimes point it at himself. I honestly thought one of those days he was gonna kill himself, and as much as I hated him I didn’t want to watch him die. But as the weeks went on he started to notice my disappearance, and forced me to stay downstairs. He would randomly point the gun at me, and had told me on multiple occasions that if he knew killing me would bring mom back then he would do it in a heartbeat. He told me that he wanted me dead so many times that I started to believe him.” By now the tears were falling on overdrive, and I was hiccuping slightly.<br/>“Lex...”<br/>“No...I need to finish this. He got so confident in himself that he would point the gun at my head, and then place my hand on the trigger. He told me to do it; that I was only going to be an inconvenience to my brothers. That I was weak, and was going to hold them down.”<br/>“But you didn’t, and if anything you are probably more accomplished than your brothers. You did go to an Ivy League school.”<br/>“That doesn’t change the fact that if it wasn’t for my brothers then I would’ve done it. I would’ve pulled the trigger.” I said it. I finally said it aloud. I wanted to die.<br/>“Would you now?” <br/>“What?”<br/>“If you were in the same position today would you have wanted to pull the trigger.” <br/>“What...no.” I wouldn’t even think of doing that now, but that doesn’t stop the thoughts from coming. He puts his hand on mine.<br/>“That’s what matters, Alexa, you can’t live in the past. You can’t let him control your life.” That’s when I broke. Everything that I had been holding in all these years just came out. I knew that he wouldn’t be completely comfortable giving me a hug, and that’s really what I needed. I also wasn’t comfortable having him hug me; only certain people, men, could hug me.<br/>“I want Will.” And within five minutes my brother came bursting through the door. As soon as he saw me I knew he wasn’t going to let me out of his sight for a while. I didn’t think I had enough fight in me to fight it, or if I wanted to.<br/>“Lexa.” He was by my side in a second, and for a while I just cried: until I couldn’t cry anymore. Dr. Charles had left the room almost as soon as Will came in.  Will just sat there, holding me, until I finally calmed down. <br/>“You ok Songbird?” I took a deep breath in. For the first time in a long I felt I could finally answer honestly.<br/>“I will be.” I knew he was debating whether to ask me if I wanted to talk about it. I just shook my head slightly and gave him a slight, watery, smile.<br/>“Good because I talked to Nat while you were talking with Daniel, and she wanted me to tell you that you are expected, by both her and Owen, to come over for dinner and watch the game with us.”<br/>“Can’t wait, and maybe we can stop somewhere to get something special as a surprise.”<br/>“Sure, and while we’re stopping places we should probably stop at your apartment because as soon as Nat mentioned you coming to dinner he decided that he wanted you to have a sleepover with him.”</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>    “Did we really have to stop at Madam Nicole’s for apple pie?” He was seriously still on about this. Ok so I made him drive an extra 15 minutes to get apple pie so what.<br/>    “Her apple pie is the best ever, trust me I’ve looked, and I really can’t believe that you’ve never introduced Owen to her desserts: especially her apple pie.” God I missed our bicker so much. Will had just parked in the apartment’s indoor parking garage so now we were just walking towards the stairs. That’s when I saw the grey eyed doctor walking towards us.<br/>    “I didn’t know he was going to be here.” Will turned to look where I was, and saw Connor.<br/>    “Oh yeah...he always comes over on Sunday game night when we both have off.” By now Connor had already caught up to us.<br/>    “Hey Lex, I didn’t know that you were gonna be here.” Will gives him a sour look, and I have to laugh slightly because apparently I’m more important than Will. <br/>    “Yeah well I sort of spent the entire day with Will, and Owen got a little jealous, and demanded that I have a sleepover with him, so here we are.” I mean I wasn’t wrong was I. I just left out the part of me talking with Dr. Charles.<br/>“Well I’m glad he did. Otherwise I’m pretty sure that apple pie wouldn’t be here.” Of course men love food. At least I sort of got a thank you, for making Will drive a couple more minutes to get apple pie, from someone.  <br/>“Don’t encourage her; she somehow managed to get me to drive her 15 minutes out of the way just to get that apple pie.” Is he seriously still on this?<br/>“Oh come on Will it’s not like I dragged you by the ear; stop being so dramatic.” Thankfully, I’m pretty sure this apple pie complaining was done, we were at the apartment door. As soon as Will opens the door I’m attacked by a small body.<br/>“Auntie Lexie!!!” Luckily he didn’t hit me hard enough that it hurt, but that didn’t stop the looks all three of the doctors gave me.<br/>“Hey buddy, I brought a special surprise as long as you eat your dinner.” I loved when his eyes lit up.<br/>“Dessert?”<br/>“Maybe...are you ready to watch the game?” When he nodded with his head right next to my stomach that was when I felt a slight pain, and winced slightly which luckily only caught Nat’s attention because she was standing in front of us. After a few moments Owen released me from the hug, and then went to hug Connor which turned into the three boys' rough housing in the living room while Nat and I headed to the kitchen.<br/>“Do you want me to get you some tylenol?”<br/>“No thanks, honestly that’s the first time it’s really hurt.” That’s because my body has grown immune to most pain; Owen must’ve just hit it the wrong way, and I felt it.<br/>“I’m honestly surprised by that because Connor said he only discharged you with light painkillers.” Like I said, immune.<br/>“I just take pain differently, always have.” I looked towards the boys, as a way to ignore the sympathetic look Nat gave me, and saw that they had calmed down, and Will and Connor came over. I didn’t know where Owen was.<br/>“Is Jay coming over tonight?” I guess Jay and Connor both came over for game night, and it looked like Connor missed him. So sweet that he would ask. (all of this is sarcasm)<br/>“Not today, he’s still at the precinct working on the case.” Obviously...wait.<br/>“Will, he lied to you.” I got confused looks from the three people standing around me.<br/>“What do you mean?”<br/>“Voight sent them all home for the weekend so they can get some rest because they’ve been working nonstop since it happened.”<br/>“So where is he?” Yeah where is he...wait. I pull out my phone to see where his location is. Yep, just like I suspected.<br/>“At Kim’s...see” I showed them my phone which was zoomed in on the location of Jay’s phone. What? Oh come on I could’ve outed Jay for a lot more than this, and besides I didn’t want Will to worry<br/>“Why do you have his location?” Because Jay is overprotective and overbearing.<br/>“When I went to college he wanted me to share my location with him so that if I ever needed anything he would know where I was. Then there’s the real reason of him being super overprotective, especially when he first joined pd, and the only way I would let him have my location is if I had his.” Then, I was being pulled to the couch by a little hand who had appeared out of nowhere with a couple stuffed animals in his other hand.<br/>“Auntie come on we have to set up where you are going to sleep.”<br/>“What about where you're going to sleep, Bubby?”<br/>“I can sleep anywhere, but you gotta be comfy cause you just got out of Mommy, Will, and Uncle Connor’s work.” He’s such a sweetheart; nothing like how Jay, Will, or I were like as kids. We were monsters; well not me only Jay and Will: obviously.<br/>“Alright so where am I going to sleep?”</p><p>During the game snacks were passed around after having pizza, and before I knew it Owen was asleep at my side. It was sort of nice.<br/>“Hey Songbird, do you want me to move him so you’re not being smothered?”<br/>“No thanks Will; I’m good.”  Owen just had his head on my shoulder; it wasn’t like he was completely on top of me. Like Owen, Nat was almost asleep laying down next to Will on the other side of the couch, and Connor was in the middle of the four of us. Well, that was before he slid over closer to Owen when Will wasn’t paying attention.<br/>“Where does that even come from?” He looked over at Will, who had gone to the kitchen for god knows what.<br/>“What?” What was he talking about?<br/>“Songbird, I’ve only ever heard Will call you that; if you don’t mind what’s the story behind it.” That was an easy answer: my middle name.<br/>“My mom let Jay and Will name me: Jay picked my first name, and Will picked out my middle name. Around that time Will had this weird obsession with birds. He decided my middle name would be Wren which is a type of bird, and is commonly given the nickname `songbird’.” As dorky as this may sound, the story about how Alexa came is higher up on the dork scale.<br/>“Tell him where Alexa came from.” Will walked in halfway when I was explaining his decision on what my middle name would be.<br/>“Jay chose Alexa from Aunt Alexandra Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird because that was mom’s favorite book. Though, he didn’t want Alexandra because it was too long so he went with Alexa.” It was perfect in his mind: his name was three letters long, Will’s was seven letters, and mine was five. In his mind it was fair, and he got extra cute points with mom.<br/>“So you're named after a character in a book, and a bird?” <br/>“Yep, that’s what happens when you let a 7 and 8 year old name their sister, but it’s probably better than the family names I would’ve gotten if they didn’t.” Both of their first and middle name’s were family names: Jay Matthew and William Patrick. <br/>“Oh yeah, what would you have done if mom gave you some of the very Irish names.” I didn’t even want to think about that. Some of them couldn’t even be pronounced correctly without an Irish accent.<br/>“I never said that I would have rathered one of those names; I was just picking on your guys’ reasons behind my name.” I mean Jay named me after a book character that he has never read, and Will named me after a bird all because I was born within that six month time period of his obsession. They are total dorks.<br/>“Alright Lexa, I’m surprised you’re still awake; you used to always fall asleep when we made you watch the game.” Every Sunday the game was on; it was the only way mom could get them to go to church without any fuss.<br/>“I’m only paying attention in case there’s a fight; it’s the only way I can trick myself into paying attention.” What? It’s not what it sounds like; I just liked the unpredictable. It’s why I like hockey so much.<br/>“Of course that’s the only reason why you’re still awake; do you still not understand football?”<br/>“It’s not my fault, Will. I can recite laws in my sleep, but football is just confusing. There’s just too much going on.” I should’ve just said no, and that I didn’t want to learn, because then the two spent the rest of the game trying to explain it to me. I couldn’t get up because Owen was sleeping on me so I was stuck, and had to suffer the torture.</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>Even though I was still technically working, just in a way where I had my own hours, it seemed that while I wasn’t physically going to work I had become a full time auntie/babysitter. Nat and Will had managed to convince Hellen to take a vacation for a couple weeks since she hasn’t in years, and it worked out because I had already volunteered to watch Owen basically whenever they needed. That is how I found myself watching Undercover Grandpa with a kid curled into my side. Will and Nat had been called in because there was a really big accident on the highway with a lot injured so they dropped Owen off before they went to Gaffney’s. I made Owen some dinner, and then let him pick a movie which is how we ended up here. Owen has had his eyes glued to the screen which is why he wasn’t even disturbed when my phone buzzed. I really hoped that it wasn’t one of the interns. They might have book smarts, but when it comes to common sense they are lacking. One of them called me asking how to make a new pot of coffee. I ended up drowning myself in a big bowl of ice cream after that one. Thankfully, though it wasn’t one of the interns; it was Connor. So that’s sort of another new development since game night. We’ve been talking more, and hang out from time to time. We were supposed to meet up for coffee tomorrow morning, but I’m guessing he’s texting to reschedule because he was probably called into Med as well.</p><p>Hey, I hate to do this, but I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it tomorrow. I got called in, and it doesn’t look like I’m gonna be able to leave anytime soon.</p><p>I knew it, and had been expecting this text ever since I got the call from Will. Besides if he didn’t I probably would’ve had to because I’m definitely going to have Owen for the night.</p><p>It’s fine; I probably have Owen for the night anyway. Maybe, if you guys are still there in the morning I’ll stop by with Owen, and possibly bring some muffins.</p><p>    As soon as I sent that text I knew that I would probably find myself at Med sometime in the morning.</p><p>This is why you’re my favorite Halstead. I gotta go talk later.</p><p>    I had to put my attention onto Owen anyway because the movie just finished, and he was already staring at me with his tired look.<br/>    “Alright buddy, are you ready to go to sleep?” He just gave me a sleepy nod. Luckily, we had gotten into a routine for when he slept over which I had learned to get him changed into pajamas before the movie; otherwise I was gonna have to try to change a half asleep four year old. That was not fun; I learned my lesson after the first time. I carry Owen into my spare bedroom, which has basically been deemed his room, and lay him in the middle of the bed and tuck him in. Then I go into my room, and lay down in my bed because I was already wearing a tank top and sweats. I then get out my laptop and iPad and start to work on a consulting I was doing for another lawyer at the office. I got a good 30 minutes in before my bedroom door opened, and my sweet nephew walked in.<br/>            “Auntie...can I sleep in here tonight?” Huh...that’s weird; he’s never asked that before.<br/>            “Sure buddy; here come on up.” Owen climbed up and just curled up next to me.<br/>            “You ok, O Bear?” I put a hand on his forehead to see if he was warm, but his temp was normal.<br/>            “Yeah Auntie I’m ok. Can I ask you a question?” <br/>             “Sure kid, what’s up?” I had a feeling that this was going to take a serious turn, and I wasn’t sure what I should do.<br/>              “Is family only blood?” Where was this coming from? I guess I should answer the kid.<br/>               “I think that it depends on personal opinion. Personally I feel that blood doesn’t have any factor in who we consider family, but who we love and who loves us. Blood just helps to connect us to some of those people sooner than it would if we weren’t blood related. Why do you ask bud?” This was definitely not a normal conversation for Owen to start.<br/>              “I was just wondering. Thanks Auntie Lexi; I love you, and I’m glad you’re my family.” Awww...I could never bring him to work with me because then all the interns will think I’m a softie. I’m not; Owen is the ONLY exception.<br/>               “I love you too, buddy. Now how about we both try to get some sleep.”</p><p>The next day</p><p>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>              “Owen you have to hold my hand; I know that you’re excited to see your mommy and Will, but the hospital is a big place so you have to stay by me.” He’s been super energetic all morning. Woke up at 6:30 and basically dragged me out the door within 10 minutes after I mentioned possibly visiting the hospital.<br/>              “I know Auntie I just miss them.” There was something going on; normally he wasn’t this clingy, if at all. It seemed like everything in the ER had calmed down so hopefully they weren’t doing anything. I had texted Nat earlier to ask if it would be ok if I brought Owen, and to let her know that he was acting a little strangely. Just that he seemed a little more into his emotions than normal. I didn’t want to make her worry, but felt like I should give her a heads up.<br/>             “Will!!!” As soon as Owen saw Will he broke out of my grasp, and went barreling towards Will; then attaching himself to my brother’s legs.<br/>             “Owen!!! What are you doing here?” Like he didn’t already see the bag of muffins from Madam Nicole’s.<br/>             “Auntie and I went to get muffins for everyone.”As soon as he said muffins it was as if a beacon had gone off. The bag was immediately grabbed from my hands by Connor who grabbed a muffin, and then passed the bag along. <br/>    “I repeat: favorite Halstead.” He whispered it into my ear while we walked over to where Will, Nat, and Owen were. I had to shove him slightly while sending him a smile; which he returned.<br/>    “Mommy and Will, can I ask you a question?” Connor and I share a look, and decide to stand a little bit further away. I had a feeling this was going to be a big moment.<br/>    “Sure pumpkin, what’s up?” Both Nat and Will shot me a look, probably seeing if I had any idea what he was gonna ask, I just gave them a quick shrug. Owen hadn’t really said anything; well except for last night.<br/>    “Would you be ok if I call Will daddy. I know I have my daddy in heaven, but I don’t see why I can’t have two. Auntie Lexie said that family is who we love, not blood, and I love Will and he loves me so we are family.” Oh my god. This is why he was acting weird. Nat and Will both had tears in their eyes, and I could feel a couple in my own. Natalie looked at Will, probably telling him that she was fine with it. Will then kneels down in front of Owen.<br/>“I would love that Owen; as long as you are completely ok with it.” Owen just hugs him, and Nat joins in. I just set Owen’s bag next to them because I knew they were going to be leaving soon; Will texted me that they would be getting off at 9 and it was 8:56. After I did that Connor and I just started to walk away.<br/>“Are you off soon too?” I had a feeling that I was gonna have the rest of the day off from “auntie” duties because I’m pretty sure they were going to want a day to themselves. Besides he owed me a raincheck for this morning.<br/>“Yeah...same time as Will and Nat. What did you have in mind?”<br/>“I don’t know, you’re probably tired so it might be best if we stay at either of our apartments, maybe a movie?” I shouldn’t have suggested a movie. Now I’m gonna get stuck watching…<br/>“Let’s do a movie; the next one that you have to watch is Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. I have it at my place if you want to meet up there.” How did I let myself get sucked into this? I swear it’s the grey eyes.<br/>“Fine, but as long as I get the really soft blanket.”</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>    “I still don’t get why they didn’t just work together from the start; they’re on the same team.” The movie had just ended, and I hate to admit it but I got sucked in. I even shed a couple tears at the end.<br/>    “It’s called character development.” <br/>    “No, it’s called having a large ego.” Did he forget that I argue for a living? Just because I haven’t done it in a while doesn’t mean I won’t be able to easily put his ass into the dirt.<br/>    “You’re just mad about the ending.” Connor had gotten up from the couch with both of our empty wine glasses, that have been filled with cranberry juice whenever we do this, to probably go refill them.<br/>    “Of course I’m upset about the ending; it shouldn’t have happened.” I just curl further into the blanket until he comes back with my cranberry juice. I know it’s weird, but it’s my wine substitute and Connor sort of just embraced it. <br/>    “You’re just a sore loser.” How dare he. Is he serious?<br/>    “First off why the hell would Batman outlast Superman. He said it himself his only superpower is that he’s rich.” Thankfully, he couldn’t retort back because my phone started to ring. That meant that I won the argument.<br/>    “Shut up it’s Will.” I get up and walk into his bedroom while hitting the answer button.<br/>    “Who were you telling to shut up? Alexa Wren, who are you with?” Damn it, I must’ve hit the button a couple seconds too early.<br/>    “None of your business.” I was trying to make it so Will didn’t give Connor a hard time. I mean it wasn’t like we were doing anything except hanging out.<br/>    “Is it someone I know?” At least it was Will and not Jay, even though Connor and Will are best friends, when it comes to me Will has taken more of a sibling/adult/best friend approach on our relationship and treats me as an adult. Whereas Jay has, and probably will, always be more overprotective, and at times treating me like I’m still a kid.<br/>    “Yes you know him, and we are just hanging out Will. That is it.” I mean literally that was all it was: no kissing nothing like that. Though that didn’t stop the comments in my head that hadn’t really stopped since they started when I first saw him after I was shot. <br/>    “Is it Connor; it’s so totally Connor isn’t it.” I hated sibling sense; it’s always used to my disadvantage. <br/>    “Yes, now what were you even calling about?” I figured he would read more into nothing if I tried to deny it; he had already made his mind up about who I’m with.<br/>    “I just wanted to say thank you for talking with Owen, or answering his questions, or whatever it is that you did.” Aww...ok maybe I lied; Will shouldn’t come to the office either, or Jay. Not when they’re in sweet brother mode; especially Will because he’s been in that mode a lot since we’ve reconnected, and I wasn’t ready, or used to it, at all.<br/>    “Will, all I did was tell him that family doesn’t always have to be blood. The rest you and Owen did.” I mean it was the truth. Trust me, I know from experience, a strong father/son or daughter bond isn’t just automatically there; a lot of effort on both sides has to go into it with a lot of trial and tribulation.<br/>    “Well thank you, anyway.”<br/>    “No problem, Will. You both deserve it.” I know that how they function isn’t going to change, but it’s sort of like that validation that Will is Owen’s dad and Owen is Will’s son.<br/>    “I should get going, Nat’s in the shower and it sounds like Owen just got up out of bed so I should go see what’s up, and you should get back to Connor.” He said that last part in the singy/teasy voice.<br/>    “Tell Owen I said sweet dreams. Night Will, get some rest; I’m sure you all are tired.”<br/>    “Oh I’m sure you know.” That’s it I ended the call. I seriously didn’t think he’d be so ok with this. I mean yeah we are just hanging out, nothing else, but Connor is his best friend. Though maybe that counts as an advantage.<br/>    “So what did Will want?” Oh my...how the hell is he so quiet. I hadn’t even realized that he had come into the room.<br/>    “Just to thank me for earlier.” Connor lifted one eyebrow: knowing that I wasn’t telling him everything.<br/>    “He also knows that I’m here.” Obviously I wasn’t the only one who assumed how Will was going to react to us getting closer.<br/>    “Is he coming over here, do I have to worry about Jay, do I have to watch my back at work?” He looked so scared that I couldn’t help, but laugh. Obviously, the image I have of my brothers is not the same to most.<br/>    “He was honestly pretty ok with it; what were you expecting?” <br/>    “Honestly, no clue, but you are the Halstead baby sister, and I know for a fact that those two are protective over each other so god knows what they’d do.” I mean that is true. <br/>    “Well now that you know that you don’t have to worry when you go to work tomorrow I should probably get going. It’s 8 now, and you should really get some sleep.” I started to pack up my things, and quickly finished my cranberry juice right at the same time that he had finished putting the Dvd away, and meeting me at the door.<br/>    “Drive safe; I’ll probably text you sometime tomorrow.”<br/>    “Night Connor.”</p><p>Connor’s P.O.V.</p><p>    “So you and my sister.” I couldn’t even get a sip of my coffee because as soon as I got there so was Will. Though he hadn’t started off with if you hurt her I’ll kill you. Even though there is nothing going on.<br/>    “We are just friends; it’s totally platonic.” I knew by the look he gave me that he didn’t believe me.<br/>            “That may be how it is now, but I’m sure that it won’t stay like that.” Lex was right; he is surprisingly cool about this. <br/>            “Why are you so ok with this? Will, I’ve been spending time with your little sister, and you are completely fine with it?” <br/>             “Wait you and Lex have been spending time together, and Will knows and didn’t tell me? When the hell did this happen?” Great now I had to deal with Nat as well. This was gonna be a fun shift.<br/>            “Hey, I only found out last night while you were in the shower. I wanted to talk to Connor about it before I told you.” Nat glared at both of us, and our hands immediately went up in surrender. When we got out tablets Maggie gave us our cases, and thankfully the topic of Alexa Halstead was dropped.<br/>            Surprisingly, I was able to get through the morning and lunch without a peep out of either of them. I seriously didn’t get what they were playing at. Well, that was before Will, Nat, and I were at the nurses station when Maggie’s head lifted up slightly.<br/>             “Hey Halstead, why is it that your sister only brings you coffee.” What? As Maggie had said there was Lex walking towards us with a coffee in her hand.<br/>            “Actually Maggie it’s not for Will; it’s for Natalie.” What was she doing here? She motioned for I guess all of us to follow her into the break room after giving Nat the coffee, who was very happy about it, and as soon as the door closed she turned right towards all of us.<br/>            “What was up between Jay and Hailey?” Wait she knew who Hailey was; I didn’t think they’d met before. Even though she asked the question out loud to all of us she was looking right at Will.<br/>             “Why do you ask?” <br/>             “Because apparently she’s back, and Kim is texting me freaking out.” Oh right they were a thing, or something, Lex had mentioned it a couple of times. <br/>             “Why would she be freaking out? I thought they were good.” Obviously that was the wrong thing for Will to say because both of the girls shared this look. A look I never want to be directed towards me. Lex turned back to Natalie like we were no help.<br/>              “Did people think that they could be together?” Nat nodded and Lex then turned back towards Will basically asking if telling her that was so hard.<br/>               “That is why because our idiot brother hasn’t told Hailey that he and Kim are together so now Kim is doubting herself. Basically she’s thinking that she’s just a way to pass the time until Hailey gets back.” Oh...Jay screwed up; even I knew that was bad.<br/>                “Why hasn’t she just asked him about it?” Will, once again, got that look. Man just shut up.<br/>                “Because Jay and Hailey have been inseparable, and she can’t get a moment with him alone.” Then, her phone buzzed, and she actually groaned.<br/>                “Are you guys still having game night tomorrow? If so, can I invite Kim?” Will and Nat both nodded, but Will of course had to ask.<br/>                “Why?”<br/>                “Because I’m going to kill our brother. Kim obviously needs to vent without Jay being there, and tomorrow is great.” Wait…<br/>                “But won’t Jay be there?” Her head turned right toward me, and I had to wince at the expression I’m given.<br/>                “No, he won’t because Vanessa suggested they all go to Molly’s tomorrow for welcome back drinks, and Jay jumped at the idea. I just told Kim to ditch and say that she already had plans.” She and Nat just left us in there to talk about god knows what. I just turn to Will slightly afraid.<br/>               “I’m pretty sure our game night just got turned into a girls’ night.” All he could do was nod at me.</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>    “Owen, can you come here if you want to help me put the cookie dough on the tray.” The two of us were making cookies because I felt Kim might need them, and Owen wanted to help. I had picked him up from the hospital daycare after I finished talking to Nat, and he slept over at my place. The three of them were getting off at 5 so I decided to head over with Owen a little bit earlier so we could make cookies. Surprisingly, we didn’t make that big of a mess; if any at all.<br/>    “Coming Auntie!” Then came the little four year old running into the kitchen. The kid had energy because he barely stopped in the kitchen when the front door opened.<br/>    “Mommy, Daddy...and Uncle Connor!” Aww...that was the first time I heard Owen address Will by calling him Daddy.  It looks like I am going to be putting the dough on the tray by myself. <br/>    “Auntie and I are making cookies, come see!” Somehow he was able to drag all three of them into the kitchen.<br/>    “What type?” Nat and I had to smack both Connor’s and Will’s hands away from the bowl, seriously. They were doctors, and yet both of them were going to put their hands in my cookie dough, hell no.<br/>    “Daddy, we making butterscotch blondies, I don’t know what they are but they in the oven now, and we’re making snickerdoodles.” Will’s head popped up at the mention of blondies.<br/>    “Mom’s recipe?”<br/>    “Of course, what other recipe would I use; besides I was in the mood for them.” Just then the timer for the blondies went off, and right after I pulled them out of the oven I had to smack Will’s hand.<br/>    “Don’t you even think about it; they are for dessert.” He had the nerve to give me that innocent look that he and Jay used whenever they were caught red handed. I called it the look for idiots when they realized they are idiots. </p><p>A couple hours later</p><p>Lex’s P.O.V.<br/>           “I just don’t know how I’m supposed to talk to him about this. We haven’t really ever made anything official so maybe I’m just reading into things.” I’m gonna murder my brother, and I think Nat might too. The three of us were in the kitchen, while the boys were watching the game, listening to Kim completely doubt herself. All because my brother is a total guy. <br/>    “Kim, you two are together, everyone knows it, and Jay is just oblivious to the obvious.” I was gonna murder him. How dare he let this amazing woman doubt herself like this. If mom was here she would kick his ass. <br/>    “Alright, how about we go in, and watch the game for a bit.” I think Nat could tell we were both getting emotional: me with anger, and Kim was just getting upset. When we went in there Connor was in the middle, like the first time I had come to game night, and Owen and Will were cuddled up on one end. When Owen saw us walk in he got up, and dragged Kim over to the other end saying that she needed comfort cuddles. Nat laid down next to Will, obviously, and I sat next to Connor. Which when I did so Will gave us a look, and I may or may not have flipped him off without Owen realizing.<br/>    “So when Jay comes in on a gurney tomorrow am I going to have to perform surgery or just set a bone.” He whispered it into my ear so that no one else could hear.<br/>    “Neither if I get my hands on him he’s going straight to the morgue.” I know that it’s a little morbid, but I also have to overcompensate for mom not being here. Besides, Kim was my first real friend in Chicago. I wasn’t about to put Jay over that; even if he is my brother. He’s the one who is acting like an idiot.<br/>    “Just make sure you have a solid alibi.” Well obviously I’m not stupid.<br/>    “Aww...you care.” We both laughed at that, knowing that we were joking, but he gave me a look to make sure that I knew that he actually cared. Damn it...why does he have to be so hot?”<br/>    “Auntie! Auntie! Did you see that? It was so cool.” Oh crap.<br/>    “Yeah buddy it was so cool.” I hated lying to him, but I didn’t want to admit that I wasn’t paying attention...because of Connor. Will and Nat were both giving us looks. While I was glaring at my brother Owen went to the kitchen to get the tray of blondies and cookies.<br/>    “Daddy, can we have these now?” Of course Will’s eyes lit up at the mention of the deserts. Owen was smart; he knew that out of all of us Will was the most excited about the deserts so of course Owen asked Will.<br/>    “Yeah buddy, do you need some help?” Will basically jumped towards the kitchen, and they both came back with a blondie in their mouth.<br/>    “Seriously, you two couldn’t have waited.”<br/>    “I sorry mommy, but you need to try these. Here, have one.” The kid was smart especially by using the cute act, and giving Nat a blondie. Connor took a blondie and a cookie, I only took a blondie, and then Owen took the tray over to where he and Kim were and put it on the closest table to him...sorry them. Though I think all of us knew Owen didn’t do that for Kim. <br/>    “Oh my god Lex these are so good. Will, how come you’ve never made them.” Yes! I love Nat right now because now I get a chance to be the annoying little sister my brothers love so much.<br/>    “He doesn’t know how to. Mom didn’t trust him or Jay in the kitchen after they almost blew it up when they were in their preteens.” The look Will gave me was so worth it.<br/>    “That’s not true.”<br/>    “Is too! You and Jay almost turned our microwave into a bomb. Mom wouldn’t let either of you step foot in the kitchen for months. I remember you and Jay sending me into the kitchen with a list of snacks you wanted me to get because if mom saw either one of you in there you were dragged out by your ears.” How dare he say I’m lying. I have way worse stories about them then just them turning our microwave into a nuke.<br/>    “We didn’t mean too.” <br/>    “Will...you two put your leftover cheesesteaks wrapped in tin foil into the microwave to warm them up, and then to make things worse you two increased the time because you wanted to see the sparks again.” They were 10 and 11; they should’ve had more common sense than that.<br/>    “Daddy, what were you and Uncle Jay thinking? Even I know better than that.” Oh my god I love that kid. I couldn’t stop laughing.<br/>    “Yeah Will, what were you two thinking? Owen’s 4 and he knows better. You two were 10 and 11.” I couldn’t stop laughing, and hid my face in Connor’s shoulder. He was laughing too, as was everyone else besides Will.<br/>    “Alright Lexa, should we talk about when you snuck into the middle school while Jay and I were in class?” Seriously...is he seriously trying to turn the tables on me. That wasn’t even embarrassing.<br/>    “Will, I was five that is not the same thing.” That could’ve put an end to it, but of course now Connor decided to not be so sweet anymore.<br/>    “You snuck into middle school?” I’m gonna smack both him and Will.<br/>    “Yes, it was the first day of school, and my first day of kindergarten. My classroom and the middle school area were connected by a hallway. I got bored with what we were doing in class so I decided I was going to go visit them. I asked to go to the bathroom, and then bolted down the hall. I looked in every classroom, trying to find one of them, and I found Will first. I just walked right in, and sat down on his lap. The teacher called mine, and when she told him that the kids were just about to go down for a nap he let me stay for a bit.” Like I said I wasn’t embarrassed about it. I even did it one other time, right before nap time, and I was able to spend time in Will’s class for a while.<br/>    “I still don’t get how you got him to let you stay.” <br/>    “Because Willy I’m everyone’s favorite Halstead. People get bored of seeing yours and Jay’s face all the time.” I thought he would’ve understood this by now.<br/>    “You know what, Songbird, just watch the game.” Ha...I won.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>    Are you serious? This was the fifth time in the past two weeks that I was going to have to save Kim from being stuck with Jay and Hailey. Connor and I had just gotten into Molly’s when my eye was drawn to where Kim was. It looked like the worst type of third wheel. I mean the other guys from Intelligence were there two, but anybody looking in on them could see the obvious distance that Kim put in between herself and Jay, who was sitting right next to Hailey. Surprisingly, her and I haven’t been officially introduced. I have somehow managed to avoid her.  <br/>    “This is the last time I’m doing this. If they don’t talk to each other soon I’m locking them in a closet.” All Connor does is laugh as I make my way over to Intelligence. I think this might be the time that I’m officially introduced because Jay saw me first.<br/>“Hey Lex, come over here, and meet Hailey.” Well obviously I was already coming over there. I was hoping that I could just sneak in, take Kim, and be able to go back to where Connor was. Once I got over there Hailey stuck out her hand which I met.<br/>“It’s nice to meet you. How do you two know each other?” Did he seriously not tell her about his relationship to Kim, but also that he had a sister? What the hell was going on inside of his brain.<br/>“I’m his sister...now can I borrow Kim for a bit.” I don’t even wait for a response before dragging her away, but not before seeing the semi-pissed off look used towards Jay from Hailey. Huh, maybe when all of this is settled she and I can be acquaintances at least.<br/>“Kim, this is the last time I’m doing this. You and Jay need to talk sometime soon.” <br/>“I know, but I can never get him alone.”</p><p>A couple hours later</p><p>Lex’s P.O.V.</p><p>    “I just don’t get what their problem is. She’s avoiding him because she’s scared of rejection, and he is just plain oblivious.” After spending a couple hours at Molly’s Connor and I went back to my place to watch a movie. Though we didn’t end up watching the movie instead we just spent time talking. My head might have been on his shoulder, and his arm might have been around my shoulders.<br/>    “Maybe you should just force them to talk. Then this whole thing will be settled.” <br/>    “I’m trying to get them to do it all by themselves.” Knock Knock. Who the hell was knocking on my door at 10 pm. When I reach my door, and see that it’s Jay I already start to prepare myself for a fight. I sent Connor a quick look to stay there, and then opened the door.<br/>    “Jay, what are you doing...let yourself right why don’t you.” As soon as I opened the door Jay walked right in, and his eyes immediately landed on Connor.<br/>    “What is he doing here?” Alright, I need to get Jay out of here before he blows a gasket. I’m pretty sure that the only way to get him to leave was to finally give him the push: towards Kim.<br/>“Ok, first off I’m 28 years old; you don’t get to dictate my relationships. Secondly, you should be focusing more on your own relationship then on mine.” I was finally giving him the push that he would hopefully use. <br/>“What?” Is he serious? He can’t be serious right?<br/>“Kim” Please tell me my brother wasn’t this oblivious. You know right now I think I might be having the same doubts that Kim had. I really didn’t want to think Jay would do this.<br/>“What about Kim? We’re fine Lex.” Fine? They are not fine.<br/>“Really? Jay fine? So it has been completely normal for Kim to barely speak a word to you over the past couple of weeks. It’s normal for you two to not spend really anytime outside of the team together. I guess it’s also normal then for her to send me SOS text messages, while she’s sitting with Intelligence at Molly’s, basically begging me to get her out of whatever conversation you guys are having. Are you really that oblivious?” He seemed to give it some thought.<br/>“Why would she do that?” That’s it I yank him down closer to my height by the ear, and give him a swift slap to the back of the head. To knock some common sense into him.<br/>“One word Jay: Hailey. Ever since Hailey got back you’ve been glued to her hip, and Kim has been running on panic mode. She hasn’t talked to you about it because she can never get a moment with you because you are almost always with her. Don’t you even think for a minute that I don’t know about when Kim saw her in your apartment. I don’t care if you were having partner drinks, but that should’ve been a real kick in the ass to tell you that something was wrong. That Kim was at your door, and as soon as she saw Hailey made up an excuse that I just texted her and she needed to go. God Jay you’re supposed to be a detective, but apparently you can’t see the obvious. Now you have a decision to make. Either you go back to being my sweet, kind, and considerate brother and find a way to get Kim’s trust back, or you can go with the blonde Lindsay act alike, and keep being an oblivious idiot. See what lands you a stable relationship.” I know that I might have gone a little too far, but I needed to get my point across and most of the time with Jay you just have to smack him in the face with the cold hard truth. Besides he knows how I feel about Lindsay so I really hope he makes the, in my opinion, better choice. I realize that I don’t know Hailey, but from what Jay has told me about her there are a lot of similarities between the two in the worst way.<br/>“Lex...come on... that’s not fair.” Is he really being serious right now?<br/>“Jay I’m trying to help you, but with how you’re acting right now I doubt that you deserve Kim. You and I both know that if mom were here she would’ve hit you in the head a couple more times to knock it into you, but I’m gonna give you cold hard truth. You have terrible taste in women, and Kim is the exception. Right now you have one more chance to get her back, and if you don’t you will probably lose the best thing to ever come into your life. Now you are going to go get all of her favorites, and knock on her door and spend the rest of the night and tomorrow trying to make it up to her. Then, when you finally realize your mistakes you are going to beat yourself up because you will finally recognize the misery you put her through.” I then grabbed him by the ear, and yanked him out of my apartment, and slammed the door.<br/>“Do you think that will work?”<br/>“It better or else my brother is a lost cause.”</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jay’s P.O.V.<br/>    Alright you gotta do this; go in there and try to win her back. I don’t know why I’m standing outside of the locker room, probably looking like an idiot, just trying to pluck up the courage to talk to her. I gave myself a little more time by putting her favorite after work snack into her locker, but I needed to get moving if I didn’t want to miss her. Come on Halstead; start walking.<br/>“Jay? What are you doing in the doorway?” Damn it. I guess that snack didn’t buy me enough time for my pep talk because there she was; right in front of me. Well come on, say your piece.<br/>“Can we talk?” Kim just nodded and turned around to go walk over to the bench and then sat down. When she turned back to me she could barely look me in the eye. God, how did I not see this sooner. We just sat there for a minute before I finally took a deep breath.<br/>“Kim, I’m sorry. I should’ve paid more attention to how you were feeling, and not trying to make sure Hailey felt comfortable because you are more important than that. Kim you’re so important to me, and I’m sorry I haven’t shown you that.” She put her hand onto mine.<br/>“Jay…”<br/>“No, let me finish. I love you, and I’m so sorry that it took Lex to give me a swift kick in the ass to see that, but I love you. And I promise that I will show you that for as long as you let me.” For five minutes Kim just stared at me with watery eyes before she finally smiled so wide.<br/>“I love you too.” Yes!!! I didn’t care that we were at work; I pulled her into a kiss which turned into a makeout session. We only broke away when we heard a gasp at the door. By the time we turned around I only saw a couple strands of blond hair. Kim was about to go after her, but I stopped her.<br/>“Don’t...I’ll talk to her on Monday. Right now I’m spending the weekend with you, and you are not getting rid of me.” All I got was a kiss in return. Then she grabbed her bag, and I pulled her to my truck.<br/>“Did Lex seriously kick your ass?” That reminded me of something.<br/>“Yeah on two things actually. When I went over to her place Rhodes was there, and I might have questioned it. Let’s just say she reminded me that she’s an adult. What is going on with them anyway?” Kim just gave me a look.<br/>“They are just hanging out, but Will, Nat, Owen, and I have bets on when they are gonna become a thing.”<br/>“You guys let Owen bet?”<br/>“He’s the one who started it!”   </p><p>Lex’s P.O.V.<br/>    “Kim just texted me. They’re going to Jay’s apartment. Which means all is right in the universe and I don’t have to beat up my brother.” Connor had just come into his living room from the kitchen bringing in wine glasses full of cranberry juice while I was waiting for him on the couch. It had just become a routine. It didn’t really matter if he worked that day or not; as long as it wasn’t overnight. If he was getting out before dinner he would text me, and we would have dinner together. Even when he got done at like 10 or 11 at night he would just show up at my door and we would end up falling asleep on my couch. Sometimes cuddled up and other times not. Tonight it looked like it was going to be one of those nights where I fell asleep with my head on his chest, especially when he handed me my drink and then wrapped his arm around me. Naturally, I leaned into him. It was nice. <br/>    “That’s good...so do you think there will be another bet into that pool?” The bet. They seriously think that we have no idea that they are betting on us. Owen’s not exactly the quietest, especially when wanting to win some money.<br/>    “I’m not sure. I think it depends on whether or not Owen has a say in it.” The kid can be very convincing, and it might give Jay his puppy dog eyes that I may have helped him perfect.<br/>    “Oh I’m sure. You taught the kid to be very convincing.” The kid was a fast learner.<br/>            “It wasn’t that hard.” I looked up at him while I was saying that, and I could see that he was debating something.<br/>            “Can we talk about something?” What was going on?<br/>            “Sure?” He grabbed my hand, and gave it a slight squeeze. I guess he heard my hesitation.<br/>            “What are we, Lex?” Oh, we were having this talk.<br/>            “What do you want us to be?” I know that it was such a stereotypical response, but I know what I want us to be. I’m just hoping that he’s on the same page.<br/>             “Alexa, I want us to be what we are here, but all the time. I want to be able to hold you like this wherever we are, and I want to be able to…” Connor stopped for a moment, and I knew that he was thinking hard on what he was going to say next.<br/>              “Want to what, Connor?” He put one hand lightly on my cheek, as to keep me from moving my face.<br/>               “Kiss you: Lex I want to be able to kiss you.” I guess we were on the same page.<br/>               “Then kiss me.” And he did, and boy was it amazing. I never really understood what people meant when they say they saw fireworks when they kissed someone, but I wasn’t just seeing fireworks; I was seeing a god damn fire show. It felt right for his lips to be on mine, for his hands to rest on my waist, and for mine to be running through his hair. It felt right when he lifted me up and carried me to his room, and when we started to take off the others clothes even though it was only our first kiss because of the tension that has been building since I woke up in that hospital bed with him there.<br/>                I didn’t even care when I realized that Owen had won that god damn bet because I didn’t care. I didn’t have to question anymore what Dr. Charles meant about Connor treating me differently. All of the knowing looks and the comments didn’t even mean anything because we were here, and it was right.<br/>               What can I say expectations can lead you to do crazy things. I mean...I wasn’t wrong; I did end up falling asleep with my head on my chest.</p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Connor’s P.O.V.<br/>    I hate the sun. Why couldn’t it just stay night all day and let me sleep? Screw the sun; I don’t want to get up. Especially when I’m holding the person that I am. We were together; she’s my girl. I’m dating Alexa Halstead. Oh my god I’m gonna die.<br/>    “Morning...what’s wrong?” Speak of the devil.<br/>    “What?” I looked down at her, and our eyes met. <br/>    “You looked scared.” Why is she so good at reading people? Especially me.<br/>    “I just remembered that you have brothers.” She of course started to laugh.<br/>    “They won’t do anything to you; the girls and Owen won’t let them.” <br/>    “Oh...not you?” The devil just kept laughing.<br/>    “My brothers know better than to piss me off; especially if they don’t want to end up in the ER.” Of course that’s her answer. I’ve seen her go off on people; it’s scary.<br/>    “So what are you doing today with Owen?” It was best to get off of that topic.<br/>“Nice 180, and Owen and I are probably gonna have a movie day today because I have some cases I have to go over. Then for either dinner or breakfast we’ll go on a nephew/auntie date.” Oh right Will, Nat, and I are working a 36 hour shift today. <br/>“So he gets to go on a date with you before I do?” That earned me a slight laugh and a kiss.<br/>“Connor Rhodes, are you jealous of a 5 year old?”<br/> “No.” Ok...maybe a little, but have you seen the bond between the two. Oh god...maybe I should be more worried about Owen then the brothers. Afterall Lex has been teaching him.</p><p> </p><p>Will’s P.O.V.<br/>    Something happened over the weekend. Connor was different. I don’t know what it was, but he’s different then when I saw him last on Friday.<br/>           “I’m telling you, Nat; they got together.” She didn’t believe me, but she doesn’t know Connor as well as I do. He’s my best friend. Of course I noticed how he was on his phone more than normal, and was just happier. His smile only left his face when he had an asshole patient, but as soon as he looked at that phone he calmed down. Something was up that I was sure of, but how was I going to go about this. Ring...ring… huh why is Lexa calling me.<br/>    “What’s up Lexa? Is Owen ok?” The giggles I received from the other end answered the second question, and I’m pretty sure I know who those giggles belong to which answered my first one.<br/>    “Daddy, it’s me! I have to be quick though because Auntie just went to the bathroom.” Oh god what did Owen do?<br/>    “Owen...why do you have your Aunt Lexi’s phone?” <br/>    “Because she left it on the couch, and I needed to call you without her knowing.” I should really talk to Nat about just how much time Owen is spending with Lex. It’s not like she was a difficult kid; she was headstrong to say the least. It’s a good trait to have, but she knew how to push people’s buttons and don't even get me started on her scheming.<br/>    “Why did you need to call me buddy?” <br/>    “Because daddy you owe me money! Auntie told me.” I knew it! They did get together. I knew it! I...oh crap why did we let Owen start a bet. Now he’s gonna get $50 dollars. Probably not the best parenting moment, but hey my best friend and little sister are happy. <br/>    “That’s great buddy. What are you gonna do with your money?” <br/>“Umm...can we maybe go to the zoo with Auntie Lexi and Kim and Uncle Jay and Connor so I can get a new animal friend, and then maybe we can get ice cream.” Of course he wants a new stuffed animal, and I’ll bet ten bucks that he’ll pick whichever one Lex says is her favorite.<br/>“We can see…”<br/>“Daddy, I got to go, Aunt Lexi is about to come out. I love you.”<br/>“Love you too buddy. Be good for…” He cut me off by ending the call, but at least I got an ‘I love you’ before he did it. <br/>“Was that Owen?” Damn it...why do all the women in my life have to scare the shit out of me. First Lex with getting shot, and now Nat.<br/>“Yeah, I was right. Lex told him which means I was right. Ha...I know my best friend better than you.” She smacked me in the head and told me to stop being childish, but it was worth it.</p><p>Lex’s P.O.V.<br/>    Owen was being suspiciously quiet. I had been working on critiquing an opening statement, and was going back and forth from the case file. The movie that Owen had been watching had finished, and he had walked into the hallway. I figured he was just going to the bathroom, but that was 10 minutes ago. Time to go see what the little man got into. Let’s see...he’s not in the bathroom...he’s not in my bedroom or closet...oh wait I closed my office door when I got my stuff this morning didn’t I. When I open my door I see Owen in the middle of the floor with a box filled with pictures of mom, Jay, Will, and me while the three of us were growing up. He was holding two pictures. One he looked at and then picked up another after he looked at it, but in the other he clenched a picture that I’m pretty sure was mom in the one hand.<br/>    “What’s you got there buddy?” He jumped slightly, and at first I’m pretty sure he thought that he was in trouble.<br/>    “I’m sorry for snooping Auntie. I know it’s wrong.” I sit down next to him, and pull him into my arms.<br/>    “I’m not mad, sweetie. You’re just curious. Do you know who this is?” He starts to shake his head no, but then stops.<br/>    “Is she your mommy?” <br/>    “Yeah buddy, Rebecca Halstead, your grandmother.” I couldn’t help but aww over how Owen was looking at the picture. God, she would’ve spoiled him rotten the moment she knew of his existence.<br/>    “She’s really pretty.” I could feel a tear make its way down my cheek.<br/>    “Yeah...yeah angel she was.” He looked up at me, and wiped the tear away.<br/>    “You look a lot like her.” God I haven’t heard that since...dad. Owen definitely made me feel better about it.<br/>    “I used to have her brown hair too. Mine was just a little lighter.”<br/>    “Why’d you change it?” Dad. He made me hate that I looked like my mom, but I can’t exactly tell him that.<br/>    “I just needed a change.” He’s now curled up in my arms, and I could tell that he was starting to get sleepy. I guess it’s nap time.<br/>    “You should change it back. I think you’d look even more pretty.” Idk if I could do that.<br/>    “We’ll see buddy, but if I do you can go with me. Now, how about we go get Snuffles so you can go take a nap in my room.” I lift him up, we get his stuffed black dog, and I tuck him into the covers. It’s only then that I noticed that he still had the picture of mom in his hands.<br/>    “Hey...angel, can you give me the picture. I can put it on the bedside table so you can see her when you wake up ok. That way she’s watching over you.”<br/>    “Can I keep it?”<br/>    “Of course buddy. She’s a part of you too.”</p>
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